SO what is your hang-up/handicap

Hello People! How are you doing? I hope this blog finds you all well...this is probably my last post of this year unless something strikes me as interesting or something funny happens so MERRY CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR! Be Blessed and remember God's got a blessing...with your name on it!

SO one of our neighbors gave my sister some playing cards that he got at a gas station, the cards say "goodwill" on them and it is the registered trademark for that company. I was looking at the cards and it made me think about a friend of mine , Micole Shorty, who passed away earlier this year. Micole, or Michael as I called him, was in a wheelchair due to a wrestling accident. It was actually a freak accident that caused him to be wheelchair and oxygen bound. Who knew a wrestling hold could cause so much damage and almost take someone's life? ANYWAY... He never complained though and at his funeral service one of Michael's friends got up and said that Michael had said to him one time, "everybody is handicapped in some way the only difference is that you can see my wheelchair". Interesting statement and actually profound when you think about it, because we all have something that "cripples" us and stops us from doing simply things and living our lives freely.

The cards that my sister has shows different people who suffer from different 'handicaps' who have achieved much success or are well known in their field. For example: "Thomas Edison 1847-1931-Learning Disability; Franklin D. Roosevelt 1882-1945-Polio; James Earl Jones 1931- - Stutter(I didn't know that Darth Vader stuttered); Albert Einstein 1879-1955-Learning Disability; Alexander the Great 356 BC-323 BC Epilepsy; Marilyn Monroe 1926-1962-Stutter(I didn't know she stuttered, but we all know she wasn't known for talking. Okay that was wrong, my apologies Ms. Monroe.); Hippocrates 460BC -370 BC-Epilepsy; Julius Caesar 100 BC-44 BC-Epilepsy; John W. Powell 1834-1902-Amputee; Henry Ford 1863-1947-Learning Disability; Frida Kahlo 1907-1954-Polio; Wilma Rudolph 1940-1994 Post-Polio Syndrome; Hank Williams Sr. 1923-1953- Spina Bifida; Linda Wagner 1949- - Attention Deficit and Learning Disabled (Who knew the Bionic Woman was learning disabled and couldn't pay attention); Socrates 470 BC - 399 BC Epilepsy; Jim Abbott 1967- -born with no right hand (Jim Abbott is/was a professional PITCHER for the Angels and Yankees); Walt Disney 1901-1966 Dyslexic; Margaux Hemmingway 1954-1996 Epilepsy; Cher 1946- -Attention Deficit and Learning Disabled (I am not saying a word on this one); Winston Churchill 1874-1965 Dyslexic; Harriet Tubman 1820-1913 Epilepsy "Rescuer of slaves. She was called the "Black Moses" (I am glad that despite her handicap she pressed forward and did what she had to do!); John F. Kennedy 1928-1961 Learning Disability; Chang & Eng 1811-1874 Conjoined twins; Sandy Duncan 1946- - Visually Impaired; Carly Simon 1945- - Stutter (I don't think you can tell from her singing that this is a problem); Alexander G. Bell 1847-1922 Dyslexic; Martin Luther 1483-1546 Epilepsy; Helen Keller 1880-1968 Deaf and Blind; Beethoven 1770-1827 Deaf and Bi-Polar and the list goes on and on....

All these people have made their mark in their field or in history some of them over coming astounding odds. A pitcher with no right hand! An Olympic gold medalist with polio! As incredible as their stories are we can be just as incredible as long as we do not let our disability define and/or control us. 2009 is almost a memory 2010 is a new year about to begin. Let's make 2010 the start of making our mark in history or at least in the lives of the people around us, what will you be known for? I know it is a HUGE question even I don't know the answer for myself but....think of all the possibilities of what you could be!

See ya when I see ya!

Peace! Mattie

The last of the Mesquite drama!

Well here is the last installment of the Mesquite drama....it was an insane weekend and you really had to be there...

Well sorry for the long interlude... since I live out on the north forty I have encountered problems with my satellite... I have satellite for the Internet and for my television....needless to say they both froze when it rained and then snowed and so my contact with the outside world has been/was cut off....ANYBODY OUT THERE?!

SO on with the story.... where was I? Oh yeah God was having mercy on me! Thank you GOD!

The next morning (Saturday the day of the party) I am rolling around in the bed praying God please do NOT let me throw up! PLEASE DON'T LET ME THROW UP! Gary gets up and he proceeds to tell me what a horrendous ass I was the night before... He says, "I bet you don't remember taking off your clothes do you? I bet you don't remember getting up in the middle of the night and going to the bathroom and FALLING ASLEEP on the toilet do you? Yeah you did that several times... I woke up and you weren't in the bed I would start looking for you only to find you passed out on the toilet...I bet you don't remember farting or THINKING it was a fart do you?" At this point I say Gary SHUT THE FUCK UP! I did not do any of those things you are talking about and I DO.... NOT remember last night but you are making it up! LIAR! I have only passed out once on a toilet and that was at a Denny’s on New Years I don't remember the year. Vodka was involved SHUT UP! He just laughs and says I know what happened you don't... if it didn't happen then tell me...where is your underwear... then he calls my sister and tells her... HATE HIM!

I had Gary go and get me some Alka-Seltzer and 7-Up you know cause they are good for you. Then we go eat and I order LOTS of food and with each timid bite I whisper...God please don't let me throw up... we are in a restaurant and it would not be good... I eat as much as I can literally stomach and we go get ready for the party... PARTY...YAY!!!! HELP ME!

SO we go to the party there are LOTS of people there... Scottie's dad & mom, brothers & wives, Carrie's brothers & wives, Ron and Donna... other friends of Scottie and Carries and us (Gary, Leonard and I)...OH and Carrie's sons... food, drinks and fun...everybody is saying Mattie there is PLENTY of Heineken in the frig...why are you drinking 7-Up? Well....lets not go there okay... I got to meet Scottie's parents they are the coolest people despite having a dork for a son... Scottie is Greek I believe BUT he has red hair, he has fair skin and I think blue or green eyes... they maybe brown... I don't know... that doesn't really scream GREEK now does it?! (I call Scottie Paleface). Scottie says to me, "be nice to my parents" Scottie! Why wouldn't I be nice to your parents I don't even know them... I actually feel sorry for them having YOU as a son... I like your parents its YOU I don't like...thank you very much... Scottie's dad was standing there during this conversation and he chimes in and says, "YEAH! I don't like you either son"... I thought that was some funny shit right there... Scottie's dad told me that he had heard a lot about me... the smile on my face kind of faded considering who would be giving him the information (Scottie) I was not sure if what he had heard was good or bad...but he said "It is really nice to meet you!"...ANYWAY...the party goes on and people who were present at the 40th birthday party are all saying the same thing when they come in the house..."Carrie are you alright? Still standing I see..." It was nice to see her vertical cause that was not the case at the 40th... we didn't let her forget it either... It came time to sing Happy Birthday and Scottie asked Leonard to sing... SO Leonard starts singing and everybody joins in and there is a look of disappointment on Leonard's face... apparently he thought he was going to be the only one singing....NOT! WELL Carrie, not wanting Leonard to feel bad when she finds out that he thought the birthday song was for him to sing alone, says since he didn't get to sing alone he could sing now...Leonard breaks into his version of 'Danny Boy' which he lovingly sings while looking longingly into Carrie's BLOODSHOT EYES! He sang another song for her or to her... I don't remember the name of it... Danny Boy sticks in my mind because by all appearances it seems it is a song for a "boy"... (L remember that time we went to Vegas and your friend and Leonard were singing songs one after the other...after the other...yeah dejavu).

Well they had some football games on but the sound is off on the game and music is playing, Scottie and Carrie have this stereo system hooked up in their home with speakers inside and outside... NOW the last time I went to Scottie and Carrie's house one of my all time favorite songs came on... Phil Collins In the Air Tonight...LOVE that song! I turned up the volume on the outside speakers which you apparently aren't suppose to do if someone is "playing through"...needless to say the golfers hurried up and finished that hole and left! WELL as good fortune would have it the song came on again... "Well I remember...I remember don't worry...worry...worry...how could I ever forget...its the first time...the last time...we ever met...oh I know why you keep the silence up ...no you don't fool me... well the hurt doesn't show but the pain still grows no stranger to you and me..." NOW INSERT THE MOST INSANE BASS AND DRUM intro ever in the history of music... sing along... oh I can feel it coming in the air tonight. OH LORD... I LOVE THAT SONG! I don't know all the words but I know I LOVE....LOVE that song... ANYWAY when it came on this time Carrie and I were dancing around on the patio while everybody looked at us as if to say "there is an unsettling disturbance in the force" these two don't get along more than 10 minutes at a time and now they are dancing together.... HELL MUST HAVE FROZEN OVER! Hell did not freeze it is just Phil Collins... LOVE HIM! Hey doesn't Phil Collins look like that monkey on Shock he Monkey? You know that song by Peter Gabriel SHOCK THE MONKEY! SHOCK THE MONKEY! Okay....anyway.... the party starts to thin out people are leaving Scottie's dad comes over to me says he is leaving and I reach out to shake his hand while saying nice to meet you! Scottie's dad is not a hand shaker apparently as I was pulled forward and down for a hug.... I said OH YOU WANT A HUG! I'll remember that next time... I started drinking a little but not as much as I had the night before... We left after Carrie opened her gifts... I gave Carrie's brothers a hug which I didn't do at the 40th birthday party because they like Carrie were/are hung up on the BLACK MAN thing... SO you know all BLACK people... okay whatever... all in all it was a good time... once my stomach stopped bubbling...

We met some other friends of ours in Vegas for breakfast they are from New Zealand... I love their accents! Elaine said "we went on holiday to New Zealand and Australia and I got to see my nieces and nephews, sisters and brothers whom I haven't seen in years...I was holding my one nephew while we were on this ferry so he wouldn't fall into the 'drink'..." Now we would say so he wouldn't fall into the water but she said the DRINK... ah proper English is so nice to hear....

ALL RIGHT PEOPLE that is it for now...I am sorry again for the delay in finishing the story... who knew that if your satellite dish froze you couldn't get a signal?

Remember that Jesus is the reason for this season.... and to be kinder than necessary and smile for know reason.... this will make people wonder what the hell is wrong with you!

Merry Christmas!

See ya when I see ya!

Peace! Mattie

Okay...so Let's continue with Mesquite I don't know what to say....

Today I made short bread cookies...well there are suppose to be cookies they look like rocks....BUT don't tell anybody! Day 2 of the Mesquite saga......the plot thickens... or is that sickens.....

SO.... where was I? Oh yeah we are in the Jeep driving to Mesquite...

We get to Mesquite we check in at the hotel and we get settled...a couple of hours go by and we decide its time to make our appearance at Scottie and Carrie's (this is Friday evening/night, Scottie told us if we want to see Carrie vertical we should come a day early... so we did). When we get to the house we send Leonard up to the door to knock since Carrie is not expecting Leonard... there is no answer...DAMN she is drunk already... we try to door and it opens...we go in and THANK GOD they we out on the golf course. Scottie and Carrie's house sits on the 7th or 8th hole... and they are out at the hole putting... Leonard walks out and yells at them...Scottie yells "get out of my damn house!" AAAAHHHHHH the good ol' days are here again... Carrie comes over and she gives Leonard a BIG hug and then she gives me a hug AND a kiss on the cheek....eeeeewwwwwww!!!!! SOMEBODY SHOOT ME NOW! Apparently age has made her a sensitive drunk....HELP ME! SO we all sit down out on the patio and Carrie starts filling Leonard in on ALL that has happened since we last saw him..."Remember Ron and Donna's son whose wedding we went to? Well he was in the mortgage business and he bought this MILLION DOLLAR home which he couldn't afford...his mortgage payments are SIX THOUSAND DOLLARS a month and he is not making that much...SO Ron and Donna have taken out loans to help him....they could be retired but since they are helping him out who knows when they will be able to retire now...my son Cory got a DUI and he almost lost his job...but he is such a good worker his boss let him stay with him during the time his license was suspended even though they are not suppose to do that... then my other son Kyle moved back from Oregon, he had moved back to Oregon when we were in Vegas he was afraid of the kids at the school he was at he thought they were going to kill him so he went to live with his dad, so now I have both my sons here and I don't think they are ever going to leave.... I got a new job I start on Monday working for a flooring company full time... yadda, yadda, yadda..." in the meantime Jeff has shown up a friend of Scottie and Gary's he lives in Payson he has his own business. Jeff's brother Bob, introduced Scottie to Gary.... Carrie's mouth is still going kind of like the energizer bunny...just keeps going and going and going.... SHUT UP is what I am thinking but its her party she can talk if she wants to!

Believe it or not it was cold in Mesquite SO we moved into the house...aside from Carrie's brother...we (Gary, Leonard, Jeff and I) are the only other people there... so we sit at the breakfast bar and drink and talk... Jeff and I are drinking beers...Scottie is trying to force us to drink this "quality" tequila that he was given by his Mexican OH I AM SORRY his Hispanic friend...the name of the tequila is "TRADITIONAL"... now Jeff and I are wondering why Scottie is not drinking this himself and when asked he says because he has to get up early tomorrow (Saturday) to get things done for the party... SO after a couple of taunts we take the bait and we start drinking shots of "TRADITIONAL!" NASTY is more like it...but we do two or three or something I don't remember... Carrie cooks dinner and anyone who wants to eat eats..... she makes spaghetti with Italian sausage... everybody eats but myself and Jeff...well except for Gary too WHO proceeds to go over to the pot of spaghetti and sticks his fingers in and pulls out some and drops it in his mouth... WHAT THE @$%&! Gary you don't stick your hands/fingers in someones food and 'pick' out some... this is not a turkey it is not Thanksgiving...this is their dinner and everybody hasn't eaten and you are picking in their food?! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND! I need another beer....ANYWAY... one of the topics of conversation is how did you all meet...so we are telling Jeff that we met at Carrie's 40th birthday party and this is a reunion of sorts since we haven't all been together like this in a long time... I tell Jeff about my first encounter with Carrie her questions and statements to me...you remember those right about...Is Gary good... my mom left my dad....WELL at this point in life I have learned to laugh about the awkwardness of the situation with Carrie and we have moved forward...unfortunately other people do not see the humor here and become angry....angry at Carrie for being, "stupid". NOW Jeff proceeds to go off on Carrie saying that she had no right to say those things to me she should not have been harping on the BLACK MAN thing around me because it was not my fault... I mean Jeff was HEATED!! Carrie was apologizing up and down and saying "I can't help that was the way I was raised and I know better now I know it was a stupid thing to say..." I am laughing because I am thinking if anyone should be offended or upset about what happened it should be me...but this man is taking it personal like it happened to him... I said HEY Carrie you don't have to apologize to me for how you were raised... it is not your fault you were raised to be ignorant... you have matured and gotten over it...DO NOT APOLOGIZE...SERIOUSLY!! SO... we FINALLY leave Scottie and Carrie's and say we'll be back tomorrow around 2'ish...

We get back to the hotel and Jeff is saying that there is a poker tournament tomorrow at 11:00 a.m., I said I would think about going.... I have had WAY too much to drink and NOTHING to eat... the hotel where we are staying has a poker room so we (Jeff and I) put our names in...because there is a wait... they call my name and I go sit down cards are dealt...the bidding starts and ALL I remember is looking at this man next to me who folded and saying to him... "OH COME ON YOU BIG CHICKEN! WHY DON'T YOU BET!!!!! then I started making chicken sounds...." The rest of the game was a blur...I do know that I scared everyone at the table and had I been a little bit more sober I could have run the table BUT since I was a little too drunk to be there in the first place... I got put off the table.... I staggered to my room with Gary's help... I prayed to God almighty that I would not have to pray to the porcelain god later... I don't remember going to bed... I know the next day I woke up with NOTHING on! Well there was my underwear...but we won't talk about them... I didn't become vertical until around noon... I called on God a lot that morning...and I am sure throughout the night before.... but... ANYWAY...

OH CRAP COOKIES.... I'll be back....

See ya when I see ya!

Peace! Mattie

Mequite...I don't know what to say

Hello People! Merry Christmas...Happy Hanukkah and all the "other" holidays that fall into this time of year...I am sure some of you who I usually bombard with my emails may remember the above mentioned title...some of you who are reading my blogs may find what comes next shocking... its just me! ANYWAY... I find it hard to believe it has been a year since this debauchery took place...usually I change the names or don't use names but this time I think I have to leave the names in so that you get the gist of the story...my apologies to those named in the incidents... I will spread this over three (3) days just as I did when I first sent it.. enjoy! AND it just so happens I was baking cookies today, oatmeal/raisin and walnut and chocolate chip w/walnuts and pecans.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY HANUKKAH and a HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope all your Christmas/Hanukkah wishes come true and that you have a very prosperous new year!!!!

Okay enough of that crap... SO I went to Mesquite last weekend or the weekend before... I can't remember which and I don't remember much of that weekend either... BUT here is what I do remember....

Gary and I went to Mesquite for Carrie's birthday, now Carrie is Scottie's wife and Scottie is a friend of Gary's they worked together for a while I believe Gary gave Scottie his first job in the golf industry and since that day they have been husband and wife... I mean you can rest assured they are close so close that if you kicked Gary in the ass you will break Scottie's nose! THAT is how close they are.. anyway... Carrie turned 50 the big Five 0 on her birthday and she was suppose to have a surprise birthday party BUT that didn't happen because Carrie is so nosy she checks her husband's cellphone and she just happened to get a message from one of her brothers that was left for Scottie saying, "Is this suppose to be a surprise birthday party for Carrie?" Obviously at that point the surprise was over!

Now a little history here... When I first met Gary he took me to Oregon to meet his friend Scottie and his wife Carrie, it was Carrie's 40th birthday party... Gary, Leonard and I flew to Portland for this event and needless to say since then we have all been 'friends'... "associates".... well anyway... we have known each other for 10 years. This little group consists of Ron and Donna, they live in Santa Rosa, CA, Scottie and Carrie they live in Mesquite, NV transplants from Portland, OR, Leonard who is 89 lives in Vegas and has been Gary's friend FOR-EV-ER, and Gary and I. I am the youngest of this group and Black...this is significant to part of the story....

ANYWAY... when I first met Carrie she was celebrating her 40th birthday...as a matter of fact she had been celebrating her birthday since the sun came up on that day...SCARY...during the actual 'party' portion of Carrie's birthday she was passed out on the couch...but I digress...before she passed out Carrie made a point of asking me these questions several times, (Carrie) "How old are you?" (Me) I am 35. (Carrie) "You're dating Gary?" (Me) Yes I am. (Carrie) "How old is Gary?" (Me) He is older than 35. (Carrie) "Do you sleep with him? (Me) Isn't that kind of personal? (Carrie) "Is it good?" (Me) Is Scottie good? I heard these same questions several times along with these statements, "My mom left my dad when we were kids for a BLACK MAN!" "Did you know that my mom left my dad for a BLACK MAN when we were little?" Now this obviously had an affect on Carrie and her brothers and let's just say it wasn't a positive one... SO time progresses and we move on, (we celebrate Leonard's 80th birthday with a big party in Vegas, everybody comes to my wedding, we go to Santa Rosa for Scottie's 40th birthday and Ron and Donna's son's wedding, etc.)... well we try to move on but this mom left my dad for a BLACK MAN is still a source of contention for Carrie...UNTIL we are trapped in the car on the way to Santa, Rosa for Ron and Donna's son's wedding, (Scottie and Carrie flew in from Oregon, Gary, Leonard and I flew in from Vegas) we met in Oakland and drove up to Santa Rosa and we are stuck in traffic and Carrie brings up this mom thing again and at this point I have had about enough of this.....so I say, Carrie let me ask you this question. You keep saying EVERY TIME you see me that your mom left your dad for a BLACK MAN. That is really sad. BUT the question is would it have made a difference if the man had been WHITE? Dead silence in the car... except for Scottie who likes to keep up trouble, he chimes in and says "YEAH Carrie would that have made a difference?" I said SHUT UP SCOTTIE! I said Carrie the fact of the matter is, your mom left your dad for another man the color of his skin is irrelevant so GET OVER IT AND DO NOT MENTION THIS TO ME AGAIN!! OR I AM GOING TO HURT YOU! The remainder of the trip in the car was quiet, but the wedding and birthday party were a different story... YEAH ANYWAY...Scottie and Gary kept in touch, they would play in golf tournaments together, we would meet in Vegas once in a while, etc., but we didn't actually see them (Scottie, Carrie, Ron, Donna and Leonard) that often after that... until now...

SO... we get to Vegas we pick up Leonard whom Gary hasn't actually seen in 5 years or more...and the first thing Leonard says to me is "Boy Mattie when you married Gary my life sure did change..." Now this statement is one that I am still not sure how it should be taken... As I said earlier Gary and Leonard have been friends forever and they did everything together... when Gary married me that left Leonard alone in Vegas...Leonard eventually married a lady who consequently has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's due to her suffering with Alzheimer's she has become very abusive towards Leonard, kicking him, spitting on him, hitting and throwing things at him, not allowing him any contact with ANY of his friends, accusing him of cheating on her, etc. (Now do you see why am I not sure how I am suppose to take the comment "since you married Gary my life sure did change.") SAD! Leonard did move out of the marital residence and into a retirement/assisted living place and subsequently contacted Gary... Once Leonard and Gary were in the Jeep together it was like old times, they were talking and talking and talking AND TALKING all the way to Mesquite... all I was thinking was BOY DO I NEED A DRINK!

I have to get the cookies out of the oven...I'll be right back....

See ya when I see ya!

Peace! Mattie

The Way I See It....

Hello People! How are you doing? I hope this blog finds you well...MERRY CHRISTMAS in case I don't get back on here before then but I am sure that I will but....

Anyway I have been thinking about some conversations I have had with some people lately and it amazes me the thought process of people, especially those people who want you to believe they are believers in Christ and follow his teachings. I just sit dumb struck at some of the things that come out of their mouths. I have a Facebook account and I read little notes my"friends" put on there walls...little things to inspire them or whoever may be reading it. Some of the notes are interesting some are insightful, and depending whose writing them some are hilarious! Of course the hilarious ones would be MINE! Just kidding. BUT I digress...

So back to my observation, in conversations with different people who claim to be "Christian" I find their comments to be anything but Christian and I find it funny that they put themselves out there as such. For example... one conversation in general consisted of a person telling me how they don't trust some people, how these people are not trustworthy and so they guard what they say when they are around them. Why? "Because you know how they are they will turn on you in a minute and twist your words around to make themselves look good." The way I see it if you seriously think you have to guard your words when speaking around ANYONE perhaps it is what YOU are saying that warrants the caution and not the people around you. Just a thought. I find it hard to believe that those who believe in Jesus Christ would be worried about anyone or anything because the Bible tells us that "No weapon formed against me shall prosper..." Isaiah 54:17 (No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord,... (King James version) no weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord. (Today's New International Version) But you will find in the coming day no weapon turned against you will succeed. You will silence every voice raised up to accuse you. These benefits are enjoyed by the servants of the Lord, their vindication will come from me. I, the Lord have spoken! (New Living Translation (application study Bible)). SO why the suspension of "some people". And mind you the "Christian" is the one who is suspicious... I don't get it. BUT maybe its just me...

In another conversation I was talking to someone about someone who had professed to being an atheist all their life, then some recent events caused them to change their thinking on a lot of things and the existence of God was one of them. I thought how exciting! Not only has this person realized that they were misguided in their thinking BUT now they have come to a realization that God has been waiting for them all along with NO JUDGMENT whatsoever. In the conversation my Christian friend asked who had baptized this person. I told them and then they were concerned or asked whether or not the person performing the baptism was a person of the cloth. You know someone with authority to perform such a task. I said I ASSUME he is otherwise I don't think the church would have allowed him to do the baptism. The "Christian's' response..."they are pagan ha ha". Interesting conclusion to come to based on so little information. The way I see it the Bible tells us that "There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism. (There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism. New Living Translation(application study Bible)) one Lord, one faith, one baptism (Today's New International Version) (One Lord, one faith, one baptism (King James Version)) Interesting no matter what Bible you look on this subject the translation is the same. Now since there is only one Lord, one faith and one baptism who are you to call the ceremony pagan? Especially if you weren't there and you don't know what was said or did BEFORE they were dunked in the water. I don't get it. BUT maybe it's just me....

The other comment that caused me to pause was "The world today you can do anything if you have money..." I am sure we all know that you cannot buy your way into heaven, you cannot work your way into heaven, you cannot negotiate your way in...there is only one way in and that is through Jesus Christ and accepting Him as your Lord and Savior. Again...I find it interesting that in today's world people are so quick to judge and those who name the name of Christ and have nothing to fear....seem to be so fearful! If it is not as they believe then there is something wrong with it....SAD! But maybe its just me....

I see a lot of those who name the name of Christ being judgmental or critical of some many people and I find it sad, because with the way the world is now....EVERYBODY is looking for something to believe in...something to hold on to. SO why are we so quick to criticize or judge what somebody else is doing? NOW if you know for sure what they are doing or saying is suspect or contrary to the Bible....SPEAK UP!

BUT the way I see it....if you don't know then don't jump to conclusions...if you feel you can't speak your mind because of "some people" perhaps you shouldn't be talking in the first place. We should all take another look at our selves and ask our selves...what would Jesus do? And then follow that lead!

See ya when I see ya!

Peace! Mattie

Thanksgiving....

Hello people! How are you all doing? I hope this blog finds you well and that you are looking forward to the up coming holidays....especially these last two Thanksgiving and Christmas! They truly saved the best for last!

SO I am sitting in Barnes & Noble enjoying their free Wi-Fi and a cappuccino! I probably should have skipped the cappuccino since the caffeine mixed with the sugar sprinkled on the scone has me wired for sound! I can't do sugar like use to when I was little...apparently I can't do caffeine either! Anyway...the holidays are here there are only two days until Thanksgiving and 32 days until Christmas. Do me a favor when you greet someone during the Christmas holiday say "MERRY CHRISTMAS" and not happy holidays...sometimes being politically correct is just not worth it!

I had lunch the other day with some friends of mine, the ladies I use to go kick-boxing with. We don't kick-box anymore but we do share a meal with each other now and then... we went from sparring with each other to sharing meals and conversations. The exercising was a good thing but the conversations I find are better. I on occasion find myself attempting to feel sorry for myself and then I will talk to someone and find out that my life is GOLDEN! One of the ladies I had lunch with was talking about the current situation with her mother-in-law who is suffering from Alzheimer disease. I gather from the conversation that the mother-in-law only has sons as I have never heard my friend mention a sister-in-law. With her husband's mother's dementia she does on occasion have "accidents" which apparently leaves at least one of her sons at loss on what to do. She said that her husband came in and said his mom was naked from the waist down in the hall and he didn't know what to do. She said did you ask her where her clothes were or what happened? Apparently the shock of seeing his mom in that condition struck him DUMB! She helped her mother-in-law clean herself up and get her clothes on and took care of the soiled underwear and bedding. My friend was telling us that the other son is attempting to make waves and wants to take "his" mom to live with him...good luck with that she said saying "I wonder who is going to help her when she soils herself or is standing in the hall without clothes...." The conversation struck me as funny cause I was sitting there thinking my life sucks...then as she talked I thought OH I AM SORRY! MY LIFE IS GOLDEN! Don't get me wrong her mother-in-laws condition is no laughing matter it is no doubt sad. What stuck me as funny is that everyone thinks they have it bad but if you just look around, stop and listen, you will find out that it is not as bad as you think. Every time I want to feel sorry for myself I find that somebody else has something worst happening so instead of feeling bad or sorry for myself...all I can do is laugh and smile!

It occurs to me this time of year when Thanksgiving rolls around everybody starts talking about what they are thankful for and they even have to stop and think about it... I say we should be thankful that our lives are such that we don't have to 'stand naked' in the hallway not knowing where we had our accident that caused us to remove our underwear.... that we have all our faculties about us and we are able to move our limbs and still have our limbs to move! I have a friend that says any day 6 feet above ground is a good day! That is true, 6 feet above ground, in our right mind and mobile. That is something to be thankful for.

I am thankful for my friends and family...when I spend time with my friends I find that they have hidden strengths that I was not aware of. The friend who is taking care of her husband's mother, she is a black belt in Tae Kwon Doe or Super Feet or something... anyway she could take you out if she had too... BUT what makes her strong to me is the fact that when faced with a situation where she could say, "not my problem or she is not my mom" she instead fights to make sure that no matter whose mom she is...she is safe, well fed, taken care of and loved! Isn't that what we all want? I take care of my sister and in some respects have to deal with the same things my friend is dealing as far as accidents go...but she is my sister, would I do the same for if she were not.. hhhhmmmm...would you? Who says blood is thicker than water?! Be BLESSED my friends and family this holiday season and all year through!!!!!!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone and let me be the first to say MERRY CHRISTMAS!

See ya when I see ya!

Peace! Mattie

Okay its OFFICIAL!!!!

Hello everybody how are you doing? I hope you all are fine and dandy SWEET as candy! It is almost Thanksgiving a time to be thankful and to reflect on the many BLESSINGS that have been given to you! SO what are you thankful for?

Speaking of BLESSINGS I met with a man a week ago who is a "published" author, his name is Gary McCarthy he does fiction and he writes novels, documentaries if I am not mistaken. Pick up a book or two of his if you are into that kind of thing! We met for at the coffee shop that has wifi access and I pulled up my blog so that he could take a look. He read a couple of paragraphs or so of one the blogs and then he said, "what do you want me to do for you?" WELL the possibilities are endless with that question. Anyway I said I just wanted someone who writes to look at my writing and tell me what they think. He said he could not critique my work as that is not what he does (well what the $%^&!). BUT he said from the few paragraphs he read he could see that I did have a good writing style, it was humorous and my grammar was good! Well isn't that special! So we sat and talked and as we talked he pulled out three books. One of them was ONE of the many he has published and the other two were called the "writers Bibles". These books show you how to get your work published, they tell you who the editors are and what they are looking for and how to submit it to them. They tell you about the magazines that will pay you for articles that you submit that they publish. They tell you EVERYTHING you need to know about being a PUBLISHED writer. It even tells you how to publish your own writings! COOL! I am excited he was a nice man...I appreciated his time.

SO I ordered my copies of the books, oh sorry bibles and I guess what I am going to do. It appears that by the GRACE of God I was removed from a hostile situation and put into a position to do what I want to do...so since I have the time and now I have the books AND access to a an author who is published....you might check the bookstores you never know when you will see me on the shelf!

Until then....

See ya when I see ya!

Peace! Mattie

Words of Wisdom....

Hello People! I hope this blog finds you all doing well.... Here is another oldie but goodie...I sent this email to my friends back in February of this year 2009...it goes a little something like this:

Okay its been awhile how are you people doing? I am just dandy...fine and dandy, sweet as candy to be exact! Now what has everyone been up to? Working? I am still unencumbered by the stress of earned income(is that the way you say it???)...but the stress of being unencumbered is starting to stress me out!

I went to the grocery store the other day and my cashier's name was Abram...now normally I wouldn't pay attention to the cashier or their name unless they are rude in which case I make it a point to not only pay attention to the name but I draw attention to their rudeness... BUT I digress... Abram was a chatty fellow I mean the whole time I was unloading my cart he was chatting away to the people ahead of me and then when I got up there he just kept the chatter going...."How are you today?" Fine thank you. "It is a lovely day isn't it?" Well yes it is..."Oh my bagger just left so now I guess I will have to bag these myself...." Well he left to help someone carry their bags to their car so he didn't really leave you he is just temporarily unavailable. "Yeah that is true. A lot of people don't like to use the baggers but I do! They are so helpful and they make my job so much easier all I have to do is scan the items and keep moving...but now I have to stop and bag them as well...Oh I guess I should stop now." Insert the sound of my potato chips being crushed at the end of the conveyor belt as the 64 ounce bottle of juice and other items I have purchased crash into them! "SORRY!" Insert the obligatory fake smile on my face that says "that's okay". "Well I am not suppose to even be here yet my shift doesn't start until 15 minutes from now...but we are short handed and more hours just means more money right?!" Right. "I am sorry I have just been talking away this whole time did you have anything you wanted to say...." No you're fine you just go right ahead and keep talking.... that is what I said but what I was thinking was...Could you just SHUT UP! Seriously!!!! Who can talk that much to perfect strangers? Most people say little or nothing to me because they think I'm mean...at least that is the lie they tell "You look so mean so I didn't want to say anything to you..." OH BITE ME! ANYWAY back to Abram "My that is a pretty bracelet you have on...." Actually it is a watch...see. I then turn the face of the watch up so that it is visible. "OH! It is still pretty I love that color..." (Now my watch is a metallic black or black it is pretty cool if I do say so myself!) I said Thank you to Abram who finally finished my groceries and said THANK GOD to myself that I was leaving because he obviously did not know when to shut up! Now I am sure that you all are thinking well that's not very nice he was just being polite and trying to make conversation to pass the time. AND he was nice and polite but Abram's voice was annoying! It sounded like someone who was waiting for his "sack" to drop and hopefully along with the dropping of the sack his voice would then drop an octave or two as well! It was either that or FLAME ON! Sorry not trying to offend but....

NOW onto the nut(s)... I took my sister to the doctor on Friday and she will be wheelchair, walker and brace free come the end of the month. YAY!!!!! Go Stinky...Go Stinky!!!! Now my mom meets me and my sister at the Orthopedics office and we all go back into the room to wait for the doctor...

I know you all know that this is Black History month and as such they have a lot of shows on the history channel, etc. regarding Black History. NOW my mom apparently doesn't sleep at night so she has seen some of these documentaries, movies, etc. NOT to mention she lived through most of it and has first hand knowledge. I don't have a problem with Black History...I LOVE Black History I would choose Black any day of the week and twice on Sunday... I am really irritated that they have chosen not to teach more of it in school...as a matter of fact I've heard the page and a half that we had in the history books has been removed and they are not teaching it at all...but that is another story... where was I.... Oh yeah we are in the room waiting for the doctor...

My mom, Stinky and I are waiting for the doctor to come in and exam Stinky's knee... as we wait my mom tells me about watching a program on Black History...judging by what she said it perhaps had something to do with the underground railroad...there was also some mention of picking cotton and she recalled when she use to pick it and how hard it was to make a hundred pounds because cotton is so light... "It takes 6 rows and 10 pulls...to make a hundred pounds" I put the ... in there because she said 10 pulls at something I couldn't understand what it was she said though... THEN she went on to talk about "mass'ah" and how he would kick those women even when they were pregnant and down on the ground he would just keep kicking them... I am ASSUMING this was on the program she was watching and not something she had first hand knowledge of... I said what you are talking about THAT did not happen they don't teach that in the schools so it didn't happen and neither did the Holocaust so stop making stuff up! Now believe me I know slavery happened and the Holocaust almost extinguished the entire Jewish race....but again my understanding is that they are not teaching these truths to our youth so....my mom says IT DID HAPPEN! I said okay if YOU say so... just pissing her off and/or egging her on whichever... I guess I should have just said nothing because as she continued her tale of what she had seen on TV she apparently was moved by the images or was just having flashbacks because the next thing I knew she was singing..."Go down Moses way down in Egypt land tell Ol' Pharaoh LET MY PEOPLE GO!" HELP ME! Then she was explaining how in the field they would be singing and you would have the men (altos) singing over there and then the women (sopranos) over here and then the bass singers would come in with the LET MY PEOPLE GO!!! And she was singing LOUD and I just thought "GOD kill me now!" Seriously! If the doctor comes into this room while she is asking Moses to go tell Pharaoh to LET MY PEOPLE GO.... I am going to knock myself unconscious banging my head against this wall!!! That or I am going to just throw myself on the floor like I am having a fit! I was wondering why is she singing this song...loud! I know the song I know the history what is she doing?! Then she says "The master would think because we were singing we were happy but we weren't happy we wanted out of there!!" Then she started talking about Harriet Tubman... but she couldn't think of her name... I was still saying to myself KILL ME NOW!

FINALLY the doctor came in... THANK GOD she wasn't singing then... the doctor said Stinky's leg had "calloused over" so once she hits the 90 days or 3 months since the break....she can take off the brace, give back the wheelchair and no need for a walker....

Zippity do dah... Zippity de aye my oh my what a wonderful day!

NOW here are your words of wisdom...if you have bubble guts or an upset tummy.... DO NOT get in your car and drive 45 miles to Flagstaff in white out conditions and icy roads... you will be tense which will make your bubble guts bubblier and your vision blurred! That is all!!!!

See ya when I see ya!

Peace! Mattie

Sitting in the library....

Hello People! How is every little thing...

I am sitting in the library an interesting place to be and people watching and listening....

There is a lady in here who is sitting with a tutor I believe who is teaching her to speak English. She is Asian or Philippine and although I am sure he is a nice man he seems to be condescending to her... that is really sad! He tells her she is needs to learn to pronounce the English language better and work on her speech...hhhmmm isn't that what he is suppose to be helping her with? I then hear him say that he is going to find someone who can help her with chemistry instead of teaching her English "that seems to interest you more". I am not sure of the relationship but it seems as though if they were married it would be more like a love hate thing....

A mother and daughter are in here sharing their love of books and authors the daughter brings over a book to her mom and ask if she has read any of them before... the mother replies "I gave these to you to read a long time ago...." Mother daughter relationship are always interesting. I was reading a book by T.D. Jakes entitled "Momma Made The Difference". I didn't get very far in the reading because it appeared to be a read for people who get along with or have a relationship with their momma. My mom was not a really nice person BUT most people don't know that. I am sure you have heard of the "Three Faces of Eve".... yeah well you get the point. Anyway, I find it hard to sit idly by when I see people mistreating their mothers, ESPECIALLY, if their mother is a nice a person. I also find myself envious of people who have good relationships with their mom, which is something I never had. Too much water under the bridge and too many hard feelings to forget but I attempt to let it go whenever I can...

I have a friend who lost her grandmother it appears from the way she speaks about her that her grandmother was an important part of her life. My grandmother lived 24 hours away...I use time because we would always drive to see her and it took 24 hours and we usually would drive straight through. It was ugly! My grandmother was a nice person, she always would be glad to see us when we came and always wanted a hug and a kiss... the kissing part was weird cause grandma always had a "dip of snuff" in her mouth and it was GROSS! AND if you knocked over the spit can...ugh my stomach just turned.... But she was my grandma and I always felt welcome in her home and loved! Grandma has been gone awhile now, I only had the one because my mom's mom had passed away WAY before I was born. I wonder what she was like? Was she nice? What did she look like? I am told all the time I look like her, which means she was obviously gorgeous....but what did she look like really? Would she have made us feel welcome in her home? Would there have been love there?

In these times when things are so uncertain it seems that we should make an effort to be kinder to one another than is necessary and show those we care about how much we do care. The holidays are approaching and another year is about to come to an end....what kind of impact have you made on someone's life this year? I was looking at my one of my other Internet accounts... there was a quote on there from Rev Run....RevRunWisdom "You don't need to a reason to get up in the morning. You should be the reason someone gets up!" Think about that... we should all work on that...

I am not sure where this blog came from but....it obviously needed to be said.

See ya when I see ya!

Peace! Mattie

Random things....

Hello People! I hope this week finds you well...it is almost over anyway if it is not...see you have to find the bright side of things! Anyway....here are some random things that have happened to me lately....

I went to the nuthouse (my mom's house) the other day and my sister was making her favorite...CHICKEN...the people at Kentucky Fried Chicken don't even have to see her face they can just hear her voice through the drive thru speaker and they already know what she wants. Can you say you have been there WAY TOO MUCH! She told me she saw one of the workers at the mall once and he pointed at her and said, "Hey you are the chicken lady!" That is my new name for her... I told her she was going to be coughing up feathers one day because she eats so much chicken not all parts of the chicken just the 'wings'. Weird! Unfortunately she doesn't go to KFC anymore she said while waiting in the drive thru she saw a mouse or some mice run out the back door of the KFC on 66 and I believe she said the one on Milton Road has roaches...now she makes her own chicken at the nuthouse... rotisserie or fried? Pick one she can do both... she has a rotisserie and she can fry up some bird! ANYWAY....one day when she was doing her usual...chicken I decided I would have a piece, I usually don't because the chicken lady can get an attitude sometimes...but I digress. SO I have a piece and she says, "I had to buy that chicken because I didn't have time to wait for any to thaw up so I got some cheap stuff... it tastes cheap." I figured she was just saying that so I wouldn't have any... WRONG! I should have listened... so I am eating the chicken and I get this tickle in my throat...so I cough...nothing I cough HARDER...a feather comes out of my mouth! Can you say NASTY! Yeah that is what it was...I still feel like something is stuck in my throat... hopefully I don't start clucking!!!! HELP ME!

I went to the dentist to get my teeth cleaned. LOVELY! SO I am laying back in the chair and I really think the hygienist has it in for me...SERIOUSLY! I was in her chair for less than 10 minutes and I was soaking wet and BLIND! Why? Because she sprayed the COLD water directly on my teeth which in turn sprayed and splashed all over my face and shirt. THEN she proceeded to clean my teeth do the whole procedure and not once did she suction or rinse my mouth during that time. She went the entire cleaning without giving me a suction or rinse...all the while she is commenting on the plaque she is finding! (When I know I am getting my teeth cleaned I usually will eat anything that sticks to your teeth or in your teeth...she has to work for the $80.00 bucks they charge.) "Do you floss your teeth? Are you brushing back here in the back?" Meanwhile the plaque and crap is falling down my throat and I am gagging! My stomach is turning. BUT her stomach is ANGRY it is doing a little more than growling it is roaring! Now we all know that when we don't eat especially in the morning EVEN after brushing your teeth your breath is going to be a little....TART! Hers was screaming! I just saw this video and this girl was singing "is that your breath or did you just fart?" She had a line in the song that said something like..."I thought it was demonic you could use a colonic" that would apply to the lady cleaning my teeth! AND she was wearing a mask... Anyway... when I told her I was having trouble getting the floss between some of my teeth....her response was "I did it". Well pardon me! I think when you do it I am leaned back in a chair with my mouth WIDE open and you are leaning in....I bet that makes a BIG difference from standing in front of the mirror and trying to reach in there yourself! BITCH! Anyway....

It is getting cold now a days here in the high country but since I have hot flashes now I really can't feel it much...I spend most of my days now fanning my head. Why do I have to sweat in my head? Is that normal? I bet it is because there is so much brain power going on up there that it just gets overloaded! Smoke starts coming out and you can see the steam...oh sorry that happens when I try to think or concentrate! Just kidding...but I do sweat in my head pretty bad...I can sweat out a perm in a week...that should give those of you who know what a perm is a clue how bad it is.

Until the next time something occurs to me that I find interesting or I just have something to say I will....

See ya when I see ya!

Peace! Mattie

I HATE FLICKERS! Not My friend Flicka but FLICKERS!

Okay so it is a lovely Saturday morning and considering it is Halloween and there is no snow on the ground there are obviously a LOT of happy children because they get to wear their costumes without their winter coats over them!

ANYWAY....it has been a LONG week... we spent the majority of it with Gary's sister making phone calls and helping her get things in order due to her husband's untimely death...God works in mysterious ways ALL THE TIME...Gary's sister told us on Monday that they (her, her daughter, her husband's brothers and her son) had all decided that they were going to leave the hospital at 10:00 p.m. that night and not come back. The doctor had told them it was just a matter or time and so they figured they had seen him and come to terms with the inevitable and they were going to go...Gary's sister told her husband that they were leaving at 10 and not coming back... just before 10 they started cleaning up the room because the hospital staff had brought them in coffee and doughnuts, etc., so they were cleaning up and getting ready to go. Gary's sister's daughter and her husband helped change her dad's gown and bed linens and just as they finished....he died! CHILLS....I guess he decided that he was ready to leave at 10:00 p.m. too. We went down to Scottsdale on Tuesday and came back on Friday afternoon/evening we got everything in order I think accept for one thing.... Gary's sister's husband had a "Bucket List" and he got to go to New York...he wanted to go Fly fishing in Wyoming but didn't make it...some cruises he won't get to take BUT the one thing we are trying to figure out what to do with is the BMW Z-4, 2008 fully loaded sitting in the garage! It was on the list.... Anybody got an extra $50,000 sitting around and want to buy it? Only 900 miles on it?! Soft top.....Sirius/XM Satellite radio paid up through 2011...anybody????!!!!!!

ANYWAY....back to the frick'in flickers! Needless to say the week was draining and so I was looking forward to sleeping in this morning....NOT bright and early I hear...peck...peck...peck...peck...I said Gary the woodpeckers are pecking on the house again!!!!! So he goes out there and by the time he gets out there they fly away... SO we are awake now and we get up and come down stairs and what do we hear... peck... peck... peck...peck... those little mother$^&**! are back....Gary grabs the shotgun and his earplugs....puts the earplugs in and like Barney Fife(is that how you spell it) he has to get the ONE bullet and put it in the gun...he cocks the gun and the bullets flies out (because he didn't put it in right) and his earplugs fall out of his ears! He is sending out a barrage of profanities and trying to put the bullet back in...one ear plug in the other one hanging...cock the gun bullet falls out again...MOTHER%^&*@! Needless to say when he finally got it together the woodpeckers had flown away! HELP ME! SO I say Gary why don't you use the BB gun instead of the shotgun that way you can avoid the earplugs AND you won't have to worry about cocking the gun and the bullet flying out...."the BB gun only shoots short range the gun shoots a longer range...." Yeah but if you can't get a shot off then what is the point of the gun???? Now I have to go get more pie pans to hang around the house AND Gary has to climb up on the roof to try and repair the hole the peckers have pecked in the roof.... freak'in FLICKERS! HATE THEM! I bet these are one of those 'unclean' animals that Noah brought onto the Ark!

SO that is my world right now...it is like the movie The Birds out here where we live if they are not pooping on everything they are dive bombing you when you go outside....and the woodpeckers....don't even get me started! I think by the time we are done you will be able to see our house from space because of all the pie pans that will be on it!

See ya when I see ya!

Peace! Mattie

Things that make you go.....WTF!!! SERIOUSLY!

Hello People! How have ya'll been?! I hope everything is just fine and dandy with each and everyone of you!!!

I know it has been awhile since I was on here last I am planning on doing better about that even if it takes posting old stories that my friends have already read....I know I said that already....BUT seriously this time I mean it!

Anyway...what has been happening since I blogged you last??? A lot different crap has occurred in my life but then again if crap wasn't flying around my life I would have to wonder whose life it was....AND I wouldn't have anything to blog about.....

SO let me just make this blog about Things that make you go....WTF! Seriously!

I went to the doctor and I had to wait in the lobby for 45 count them....FORTY FIVE freakin' minutes and then the doctor had the nerve to ask me "if I wanted to proceed with the procedure I was there for..." WTF! Are you serious? You have had me waiting for forty five minutes then you skip your happy ass in here and ask if I want to proceed with the procedure.... Let me ask you this doctor what kind of drugs are you taking and can I get some?! SERIOUSLY! Why do doctors do that... do they seriously not think that your time is just as precious as theirs? Do they not think that you have things to do too? I am sitting out in the lobby reading my BIBLE and I can't get into what I am reading because I can feel my ears getting hot as the clock ticks away my lunch time...MY TIME! Let me give you some background...the doctor is a dermatologist...who scared me! YES can you believe it.... a dermatologist left a huge freakin' scar in the middle of my chest! HATE HER!

Anyway... this is what happened I went to the OB/GYN because I had this lump on my breast and one in the middle of my chest....the OB/GYN says that it doesn't seem to be a mass so it must be something else and you should go see a dermatologist and have them look at...SO I do. I go see doctor DOOLITTLE and she proceeds to tell me she will have to cut it open to see what comes out...Oh okay. SO she slices my breast open and nothing comes out....she says, "Well that is strange I knew there was something in there because I could feel it...well let's cut the one on your chest I KNOW THERE IS SOMETHING IN THERE!" So I lay there and she shoots lydacaine(spelling) into my chest to numb it..can you say OUCH! Then she proceeds to slice it open....then as she holds the bloody knife in my line of sight she says, "hhhmmm there is nothing in here either. Well let's take a biopsy anyway...that is strange...." At this point I wanted to jab her in the forehead with the knife...there was NOTHING in there...she couldn't figure that out before she cut me?! Exactly! That is what I am saying... AND guess what here is the kicker...most people of color when they are cut are prone to get "keyloids" (I am not sure of the spelling). A keyloid is a growth that occurs at the sight of the cut....instead of the injury being "flat" and healing normally (whatever that is) it develops a bump and becomes discolored. LOVELY! SO I have one of these in the middle of my chest and on the side of my breast! NICE! Good thing Gary didn't marry me because of my body....wait that happened after we were married...never mind! Where was I.... oh yeah the one on my breast burst or something from my bra rubbing on it BUT the one of my chest grew! Don't you just love it! Now I go back to the SAME doctor who scared me to have her fix it and she makes me wait FORTY FIVE MINUTES! THEN here is the good part... the boy/man man/boy, whatever, who came out in the lobby to get me takes me back to the little room and proceeds to ask, "What are you here for today?" OMG! Help me not do a homicide in the doctor's office... what do you mean what am I here for don't you know! THE DOCTOR SCARED ME AND NOW SHE NEEDS TO FIX TI!!! Capeash?! Comprende? Understand rubber band? Am I speaking proper English? THEN get this the nurse or assistant comes in and she says, "you are here so the doctor can give you another shot in your chest right?" Right. "So she is going to have to shoot you in the chest but you are wearing a turtle neck, shouldn't you take it off?" Shouldn't you kiss my ass! I am not taking off my shirt until the doctor is in this room I am TIRED OF WAITING! Is she coming? She has about a minute to get in here?! "But you need to remove your shirt." You need to remove yourself from my presences....NOW! I was floored seriously how do you keep someone waiting for almost an hour and then act like it is no big deal...no apology NOTHING! Just a stupid question of "are you going to proceed with the procedure? Come on! Psych yourself up!!!" I thought this must be the twilight zone and she is going to remove her mask and reveal her pig face any time now.....(The doctor has to shoot steroids into my chest...it burns like the dickens and it is not a good time at all BUT it seems to be helping the keyloid go down...). Still don't like her even if she is making the problem smaller....anyway....

Seriously I went from reading Genesis the creation of the world as we know it....wondering why did God order Noah to bring in clean and "unclean" animals into the ark, what were the unclean animals? how do you know an animal is unclean?....but as I read those passages in the Bible my mind was wondering on how much longer should I sit here before I walk out...my ears are getting hot....(hot ears is an indication for me that I am in a dimension of pissed off that I have not encountered before...) SO as I read I was getting angry so I put the Bible away....in case you are wondering I have a "pocket" Bible or a small Bible that fits perfectly in my purse. I was at a loss for words when I left there....the front office staff could detect my anger...the boy/man man/boy felt my anger as did the nurse but the doctor was just oblivious to the whole thing....just one of things that make you go..... WTF! SERIOUSLY!

See ya when I see ya!

Peace! Mattie

A Reason, A Season, A Lifetime....farewell friend!

SO the time has come for us to part company and move forward onto bigger and better things no doubt! People are always coming in and out of our lives we have to figure out if they come for a reason, a season or a lifetime....

Well let's see...How we met....well....let me see we live in a small town and as with any small town one would aspire to work at a place that gives the illusion, if not actually provides, stability. In Flag what do you have to choose from...the usual...State, County, City, then perhaps not so usual WL Gore, Purina, Walgreens, NAU and of course where we met...the hospital. I have always wanted to work at the hospital myself it seemed as if it would be interesting or at least it would be different and as it so happened I was sent there on a temp assignment that turned into a permanent job. YAY it started out like HEAVEN but shortly went to HELL in a hand basket... but that is another story. The best thing to come out of that job though was the people I met while working there....I got to meet a lady whose ENTIRE family I thought I knew, only to find out she was the baby and I thought the other sister was....I met Althea and KMart...and many, many others....some nice, some not so much... AND then I met you!

What can one say about you...well for starters I guess I can ask who can say they know a self proclaimed Witch?! Interesting proclamation. I believe you said you were a High Priestess or something and I believe my response was yeah right....you know I don't believe in that stuff right? BUT nevertheless we became friends...I remember all the stories you told about your first encounter with people at the grocery store, your dad and his paranoia "Tracy everybody out here is packing heat", your MOTHER "Tracy must be somewhere around for you to say that 'cause you are lying", oh my she is funny! Well maybe not so much to you but.... AND of course I can't forget you reading me the headlines over the cubicle wall as we worked. We would discuss, sometimes loudly, what was going on in the news or whatever like two old bitties hanging over the fence. Good, bad, funny or sad I think we covered it all...you were never afraid to voice your opinion, even if it was contrary to mine...but as you said on Saturday when Althea and I were having the loud discussion in the restaurant, "that is what friends do, they disagree with each other but then they are fine...." I have some good friends, who when I think about some of the things I have said to them over the years, WOW! I know that if they would have said the same to me we wouldn't be friends BUT they are in that respect "bigger" than me and yes I can admit that. ANYWAY... as for you and I we've sat in my car smoking cigarettes and we've talked about work, people, life any and everything in between and you would remind, "Don't forget the bread!", as I drove off.... I am not really sure how long I have known you but it seems like a lifetime has passed... I won't forget any of it especially those tasty treats straight from New York and straight to my head...bloodstream....how much sugar do they put in those things anyway?!!! You had a NEW YORK temper but you also had a heart that made you vulnerable to the injustices in the world. I know you would do what you could, when you could for whomever you could, not a lot of people would do that. You know what I mean? Unfortunately I don't think you realize what you are capable of or what your worth is....let me tell ya this...you are capable of being the best Tracy/Ray there is with the biggest heart and biggest smile in the world. You are worth more than gold you need to know that! Never settle for less or think you have to buy your friends or your relationships...remember that! There is someone out there just for you who is waiting to show you what happiness really is...perhaps Texas is the place to find him???? Wouldn't that be SWEET! As you go off on your travel I have to say I am not sure of the reason you came into my life, and now the season is over, but you will be a memory that will last a lifetime!

Lastly I would be remiss if I did not say this....you mentioned the other day that you are a Witch that LOVES Gospel music and not many people know that... you also mentioned that you loved the song, "God Is Trying to Tell you Something..."and every time you hear it you are moved to tears. Well God is trying to tell you something. He wants you to know that He is standing at the door knocking waiting for you to hear His knock and let Him in(Revelation 3:20)...He wants you to know that He knew you before you were formed(Jeremiah 1:5), and that He cares so much for you that He knows the number of hairs you have on your head(Matthew 10:30). He wants you to know that when you think you are alone and nobody cares He cares and He is always with you(Joshua 1:5). God loves you and that's all that matters! And He loves you that much I guess I can tolerate you! Thought it was getting kind of mushy there...

My prayer for you and Althea even though you are heathens :P)...is this that God Blesses you with EVERYTHING HE has for you!

Take care be careful in your travels....God Speed!

See ya when I see ya!

Peace! Mattie

Oregon....The Rest of the Story.....

As I said yesterday....here is the rest of the story....Oregon you really gotta love it!

SO…. Where was I? Oh yeah drunk Stu…

Well we sat around the dinner table talking while Stu sat over in another area in a chair where he continued to mumble about not knowing where he was and wanting to know what was going on… we ignored him… as we sat and talked Gary’s “friend” Tom is well I guess he is a happy drunk… he was jabbering on and I was sitting next to him and he would slap or grab onto my knee “Gary we are some lucky son of guns you know that… I mean you have this wonderful lady here who loves you and I got Kathie, man it doesn’t get any better….” (insert knee slap/grab here)… more conversation and Tom’s hand is now on my thigh… I try to inconspicuously move my chair over but Tom is about 6’ tall so he has a reach on him… more conversation and he grabs onto my shoulder and gives it a good shake… we keep talking and then Tom’s hand is not where it should be… OKAY…ALRIGHT Gary! Its time to go bed now… in between the grabs Kathie had noticed Stu sliding down in the chair so she suggested that he go to bed…which everybody agreed to BUT no one was helping Kathie with. I said Gary she is a lady and she should not be trying to corral a drunken man into bed by herself YOU take care of Stu…so the sleeping arrangements are this… Tom and Kathie have a “Casita” or guest house it is a one bedroom house… it is not completely furnished but it has a bed in the bedroom and a sectional couch which has a pull out in it, refrigerator, stove, microwave, coffee maker, etc… wait a minute this place is furnished… ANYWAY… Stu is going to sleep on the couch and Gary and I are going to have the bed….right! WRONG! Gary put Stu to bed, he got him undressed and put him on the pull out couch… when we went down to the guest house it was dark I said Gary didn’t you leave a light on for Stu what if he had to get up he could have fell and hurt himself. SO we walk in look around… the couch is empty… we walk in a little further… look around turn on the bathroom lights and look back towards the bedroom and there is Stu stretched out in the bed spread eagle in his tighty whiteys. Trust me it was not a pretty sight… Gary starts to roust Stu out of the bed… I said Gary just leave him there if you get him up and put him back on the couch where do you think he is going to end up if he gets up again during the night? Do YOU want him crawling in bed with you… we get undressed and settle down on the sofa bed… I wake up because I hear someone walking around, pacing… I slowly open my eyes and there is Stu walking back and forth in a daze… I nudge Gary and Gary rolls over and starts snoring… I say in a whispered LOUD voice GARY! Gary says what… I say look at Stu he is lost… help him back to bed. Gary being Gary he is so helpful… he yells “STU GO BACK TO BED!” I said Gary get up and help him, at this point Stu is back to mumbling “I don’t know where I am…” when Gary yelled at him Stu said, “I am trying dad but I don’t know where I am…” I said Gary get the hell up and help him… so Gary gets up and leads him back to the bed… this same thing happens at least three count them 3 more times throughout the night/morning…. The only difference is during one of the times that Stu got up he tried to walk out of the window… the guest house has this floor to ceiling window and its not covered and Stu kept trying to walk out of it… needless to say I didn’t get much sleep that night… the next morning I wake up and hear quiet, nothing, so I figure Stu is passed out and now would be a good time to make a run for the bathroom… WRONG ANSWER RICHARD WE WON’T PLAY… well when I came out of the bathroom guess who was bending over in their tighty whiteys digging through their suit case? Guess whose tighty whiteys aren’t really tight? STU! I think I went blind for a minute… I regain my sight and I run and jumped on the bed with Gary and I try to put the sight I had just seen out of my mind… but then Stu stands at the foot of the bed apologizing for his behavior and remarks how embarrassed he is about the whole thing… and that we should have the bed tonight (Saturday night)… I am looking up at the ceiling, cause I can’t very well look at him because he has no clothes on! And I say don’t worry about it Stu you are fine you can have the bed and there is no need to be embarrassed you just had a little too much fun… it’s okay… Stu gets dressed and goes up to the big house… Gary and Tom give Stu a ration of crap that is just really unnecessary considering Tom is a horn dog when intoxicated and Gary never gets the “tell them that story honey” syndrome where he wants YOU to tell every story you know about anything… I know Gary if you do something once in front of him, like get drunk and tell off his family, he will remind you of it every chance he gets… They had already started on Stu the night before so I knew Stu was in for it… so when I got dressed I went up to the house and everybody was sitting out on the deck eating breakfast and as soon as Stu sees me he drops his head and won’t look at me because he is so embarrassed… I go over to him and give him a hug and I say don’t you worry about it Stu YOU WERE GOOD last night!

That pretty much ended the teasing of Stu… Kathie’s sister Ann said well damn maybe I should have slept in the guest house…. I said yeah you missed out… we had our breakfast and went on with the day… Gary and I went to Grandpa George’s grave site for a visit and Tom and Stu went golfing… Kathie and Ann went to clean out their mom’s house… that night Tom, Stu and Gary went to their reunion dinner… Kathie, Ann and I went to dinner and when we got back to the house the guys were able to con two women from their class into following them home… They are all sitting around the table laughing and talking and they immediately start trying to be macho… “now honey don’t get mad these are just two girls who wouldn’t date us in high school they are the only two we could get to follow us home… but we’re just friends” I said that is fine Gary I am not worried about it… BUT you might want to zip your pants before your tadpole jumps out and frightens someone!! Oh I am sorry did I say tadpole I meant to say before you unleash the lizard and hurt someone!!!!! GET REAL! Gary never zips his pants, I can never figure out how he forgets to do that... I just hope he wasn’t walking around the dinner like that… talk about embarrassing… apparently nobody noticed until I pointed it out then both ladies looked…. SAD!!!!! They had given all the attendees a name tag with LARGE print on it and a picture of what they looked like in high school. Gary didn’t graduate with this class but he went to school with them until his senior year when they moved to Scottsdale… so he didn’t have a picture… Tom was handsome in his day and Stu…OMG! I know you all know who Christina Ricci is… well now you know what Stu looks like! Big eyes… huge forehead… seriously put some dark hair on this man and you have that girl… well at least back in his high school years… Stu was a golf pro at least in his college years and he played in high school along with Tom and Gary….Tom inherited the family car dealership… rich kids with nothing better to do but chase women and be obnoxious!!!!!!!!!! Gary says he wasn’t rich he just hung out with the rich kids… They sit and talk about their kids and their lives and I am sitting there wondering WHAT THE %$**! … Tom lets out a barrage of profanities as he twirls around the room… I just sit and stare and wonder will I be this goofy when I am there age?

I don’t want to be goofy I want to be smooth…. Anyway….

The girls left and we sat and talked for a while… apparently Kathie, Ann and I had more fun at our dinner than they did at theirs…they just don’t have the charm they had back in the day and of course being stumbling drunks didn’t help spark any magic… we went to bed around 1 or 2 that morning and the next day, Sunday, we get up and apparently Stu either took my joke seriously that he was good or he was just comfortable with his body because he had no qualms about standing in front of me talking to me with just his underwear on… I was thinking SERIOUSLY! Put some clothes on!! That is just wrong! Your tighty whiteys aren’t even tight… and you need some color… HELP ME!

We left Oregon… and bid a fond farewell to our hospitable host, hostess and Stu and moved onto Nevada… but that is another story…

See ya when I see ya!

Peace! Mattie

Oregon....its a LOVELY place!

This is another story that I have previously bombarded my email friends with....it is kind of long but hopefully you will find it worth the read! It was an email sent over three days or three different emails... I had to skip the first one otherwise it might cause a family dispute....BUT here is the second email...I send the third tomorrow!

Okay where was I???? Oh yeah we drove from Williams, AZ to Williams CA in one day….

SO we get up in Williams, CA and I had brought the infamous “Hook ‘em Horns” shirt figuring hey I am NORTHERN CALIFORNIA on my way to OREGON who will care about the Texas longhorns up there…WELL apparently it doesn’t matter where you go there is going to be a Texas fan somewhere…we go downstairs for breakfast because the hotel that we are at serves breakfast and as I am getting myself some juice and coffee this man is staring at my chest… SO I figure he is trying to figure out if that is a bug or something else on my chest because I have that guardian angel pin that I wear… WRONG! “Are you from Texas? Or did you go to school there?” I say I have relatives in Texas… “OH my daughter is going to school there that is a great school!” I am thinking who cares… but I just smile… SO Gary has some idle chit chat with this man about where we are going and how bad the smoke is going through the Mt. Shasta area…. I am thinking… can we GO NOW! SO we FINALLY leave… I ask Gary about going to see the Red Woods, he says they are WAY over on the coast and out of the way…I said okay… and I go back to reading my book… as we are driving through this national forest area Gary says, “HEY there is one! Look at that tree!” Did I mention we were in a national forest so “Hey look at that tree” is not doing ANYTHING for me since there are a gazillion trees on either side of the road…. SERIOUSLY! I said Gary what tree? He said that one see how the bark is different than the others… WHAT ONE! We are driving through a tundra of trees and winding roads and my thought now is why are you looking at the trees and not the road… the road we are on is like going down the switch backs to Sedona BUT on this road there are also inlets and outlets for people coming onto and getting off the road… don’t you think it would behoove you to just look at the road?! Maybe it’s just me… Gary says it’s not good to just look at the road you should look around otherwise you could get road blur or blindness or something… get the hell out of here and watch the road!

We finally get to Oregon THANK GOD and it is noon so Gary says it is too early to go to his friend’s house where we will be staying so we go to Crater Lake (http://www.nps.gov/crla/)... it is a national park so just like the Grand Canyon you have to pay to get in… well as we pull up to the pay area I am sitting in the PASSENGER seat and I hear the Park Ranger say, “I like that shirt you have on. I went to school there, did you…” Are you kidding me? I am in the passenger seat minding my own business and you are telling me that you can see these freakin’ hook’em horns all the way over here from your little booth all the way over there? SERIOUSLY… anyway I put the website there so you guys can check it out I can’t explain how blue this water was and how cool this place was… the water is from the run off from the snow and there is no other water coming into it and although they do have a “small” seepage problem there is no outlet for the water it is mainly from evaporation. You gotta see this place…. ANYWAY… as we are leaving I go to throw some trash in the garbage can and wouldn’t you know it there is a lady next to the can and what does she say…”That is a nice T-Shirt!” KILL ME NOW!

We get to Gary’s friend’s house and Gary and Tom sit up and chit chat for awhile, Tom tells Gary that Stu is coming and that he believes Stu is messed up in the head and just plain crazy… all Stu talks about is the problems with his house and how this has been dragging on for the last 4 years… a little more chit chat and then it’s time to go to bed… we found out when we got there that Tom’s wife’s mother passed away a few days before we got there and that his wife was on her way back from the funeral services and that is why she wasn’t there to meet us when we got there… SAD! The next day is Friday and another of Gary and Tom’s friends arrive “Stu” they call him eyeballs… I asked why and Gary said you will see when you see him… Stu has very pronounced eyeballs… I guess “eyeballs” is better than being called bug eyed or something like that… actually no its not! Who would think to call someone eyeballs???? Stu gets in about 11:30’ish and Gary says, “I guess it’s too early for a beer huh Stu?” Stu replies not really I had one on the plane. Who drinks at 9 in the morning? Stu flew in from Vegas it is at least a 2.5 hour flight… SO they start drinking… Friday is the first day of their reunion the class is going on a river trip… Gary and I go on the boat trip and Tom and Stu go golfing… they (Tom and Stu) drink more… We went on a river trip down the Rogue River through “Hellsgate” a pass on the river (http://www.hellgate.com/Splash/)... Insane! As we go down the river the tour guide says “those of you sitting on the outside of the boat will be WET when this trip is over…those of you in the front will be WET when this trip is over and those of you in the back it may take a while but you will get yours too… now when I say hold on I want you guys in the front to grab onto the bar sticking out in front of you with one hand and grab the back of the seat with your other hand, if you don’t do this when I say hold on you will bang around this boat like unsecured luggage on a bumpy flight… throughout this ride down the river, I will show you wild life, I will point out points of interest and I will spin this boat 360 at any given time!” I am saying to myself now why would you want to do that this is a perfectly good boat it is going along quite well no problems so why…oh WHY would you want to throw it into a spin for no apparent reason… we went down the river at a high rate of speed (55 mph) spun, bumped, banged and sometimes it felt like we were airborne…guess who was on the outside? YUP! ME! And believe it or not I didn’t use a life jacket… STUPID HUH?! Especially since I can’t swim!!!!!!! When we got back to Tom’s house I had to change my clothes including my underwear! We took the dinner cruise or ride and as we sat at the table for dinner people were pointing at me and whispering…it is SO much fun to be a "fly" in the buttermilk and not only a fly but the youngest in a group of OLD people… Just when I had finally settled down from the ride down and psyched myself up for the ride back up the river these women cover to the table where Gary and I are sitting and they proceed to hug Gary and then get up close and personal with me… I mean if they were any closer in my face we could have rubbed noses… which would have been scary because you know how I like my space… not to mention the fact that I had just ate a salad and ate all the onions off the salad so my breath was not the freshest! BUT did that deter these determined women who wanted to get a GOOD look at the woman Gary married…NO!!! Bad breath and all they were in my face, “SSSSOOOO where did you guys meet? How long have you been married? When did you get here? Are you coming to the dinner tomorrow, etc. etc. etc.”… These questions were merely diversions to the real reason they were there… I don’t think my doctor has ever looked me over closer than these bitties did! When they left Gary said he always had more girls for friends in school than he did boys he just got along better with the girls… I have a picture of Gary and his harem I will send it to you all later… this one voluptuous lady said she was Gary’s girlfriend in the 7^th grade… Gary denied it but in the picture you will see she is the one right next to Gary with her arms around him smiling… the majority of these people have been classmates since kindergarten…can you imagine!

When we got back to Tom’s house we find that Tom and everyone are across the street at a party for the CEO for Harry and David’ you know the pear people… after a while Tom comes in and he is about 10 sheets to the wind… later on his wife comes in and she has Stu by the hand Stu is walking very awkwardly and he is mumbling “I don’t know where I am as he staggers across the floor…” Stu says this several times and finally Tom says, “SIT DOWN YOU DRUNK MOTHER&*$%^@! We know you don’t know where you are just sit down and SHUT the $%&* up!” OMG! I almost shot beer across the room through my nose! I wasn’t expecting that to come out of Tom’s mouth…Remember these are old people they should all be sitting down and shutting up! BUT since it is there reunion… I just sat back and watched the stupidity unfold!

I’ll tell you the rest tomorrow ‘cause believe me it gets better!

See ya when I see ya!

Peace! Mattie

Variety is the SPICE of life....so they say!

SO what is up people? How are you doing? I have a headache and a cough that comes up from my chest...other than that I am doing good! Even with the headache and cough I am still doing good!

I have been employed now for a whole two weeks I think I am getting the hang of it. The lady who is retiring and for whom I am 'attempting' to replace is very well organized. I mean VERY organized she has the office set up so that if computers were capable she could have it wipe your @$$! SERIOUSLY! I am use to working in chaos and disarray so it is hard getting use to things being done orderly. Crazy how some people operate their lives with seemingly everything being done step by step in order and others are just going through their lives haphazardly trying not to break something in the process. But it is apparent that if we didn't have the mixture of the two, life would be boring in and of itself. Those who are orderly always have something to talk about with those who are disorderly and vice-versa.

There are also people in life who thrive on drama the more the merrier for them, and others who would rather not have drama but peace. Again the two mixtures make for a more interesting world to live in...but being one that could do without the drama....well you know what I would say next. NO MORE DRAMA! Hey Mary J. Blige made a song about that! Anyway...the long and short of it is variety is the spice of life and whatever your pleasure is in life 'CHEERS' to you! Live your life the way you want as you have been given a choice to do just that, and isn't that special?! BUT just remember that others may find the way you choose to live your life, especially if it is contrary to the way they live theirs, annoying! SO keep that in mind. I guess this headache is making me cranky?! (Perhaps and perhaps not). I have been told that I need a course in sensitivity training. I don't think it would help. Patience for those who are stupid is more like it. BUT that is just my point of view.

I am going to spend some time today with some classmates from High School. It is amazing how in High School you had these "clicks" or groups of people who were identified as 'jocks', 'stoners', 'nerds', etc., and they would NEVER mix or be seen together unless they were fighting of course. In High School these clicks or groups would never mingle or been seen together, but now that we have graduated from High School and are getting on in age we have no problem crossing those lines and getting together and socializing. In socializing we find out that we are pretty much all the same. The jocks, nerds, stoners, rich kids and the not so rich kids are all the same when you get down to the basics.., who would have thunk it?!! Hhhhmmm it only took 27 years to figure that out. Well, actually I am sure we knew this all along, it's just that in high school everyone wants so much to fit in somewhere that they forget they fit in everywhere!

Variety the SPICE of life....go out and enjoy some variety!

See ya when I see ya!

Peace! Mattie