Okay so where did I leave off? Oh yeah day one Santa Rosa. So we leave that lovely town/city and start the LONG drive across Texas day two. We started out driving around 7 maybe 8 that morning.... we got to my Aunt's house around 10:30 that night. She lives in Houston that is 13 to 14 hours of driving and you are still in the same State. SERIOUSLY! My aunt is my dad's baby sister she is the youngest of 11 kids I think there is 11 it could be more??? Lets just say there is a lot of them! We have to stop and get some dinner because my Aunt says that she didn't cook dinner and we are on our own... COOL no prob Bob! We get some food find her house and sit down for some Chic Fil' A (how do you spell that) and beer! My aunt's husband, Mr. Sam (he doesn't like to be called Uncle Sam 20/25 years in the military... he doesn't like it...), Mr. Sam is drinking hard liquor we are not sure what but from its color it has to be vodka or gin straight no chaser or mixer... the more he drinks the louder the talk becomes. Its midnight now and the talk and laughter is so loud you would swear it was daylight, my aunt has to be up for work at 7. We finally went to bed.
We leave my aunts house and have breakfast and start the trip to pick up the tractor. Now so you can picture our travel we drove from Williams to Houston and then Houston to Dickinson. Dickinson is on the border down by the Gulf of Mexico, very small town. I asked my Aunt if it was redneck or Klan country and she said yeah but not to worry. We get there and Gary is so EXCITED about this tractor that he is basically babbling! Let me say for those who don't know Gary well, that Gary will say ANYTHING when he is nervous, excited or just to break the silence. SO we find the man's house who has the tractor and Gary gets out of the Jeep and he is off like a rabbit being chased by a hound or something!!!!!!!! I get out of the Jeep and I just stand back and watch.... the guy shows Gary other tractors that he has and tractors that he is working on etc. Gary, God Bless him, says to this guy whom I have never met before and don't know from Adam, "this is my wife she can't believe how excited I am about this tractor she said to me why can't you get this excited about SEX!!!!!" Being a person of color is a good thing especially during times like these. WTH! I wanted to kill Gary on the spot.....dead, he should be DEAD now. I want him dead.... really!! Why would you say that to somebody you just met? Then Gary says to the guy as the conversation progresses, I think they were talking about how much land they have or how much things have built up or grown since they bought their properties, or something like that.... Gary says, "yeah we use to think that we lived out in the country but now so many people have moved out there that my wife says we can't even run around on the porch naked anymore!!!!!" Is there a trap door somewhere that can be pulled so that I can disappear or better yet a sling shot so that I can shoot Gary into another time space continuum????? Seriously.... I can't believe he is saying this stuff to someone he just met TWO MINUTES AGO.... SERIOUSLY!!!!! SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!! I couldn't make this up if I tried. We leave this guys house and he shakes my hand and gives me a look of sympathy, one that I have seen so many times before when Gary is on a roll in front of complete strangers. I was thinking yeah you feel my pain don't you? I said to Gary after we got on the road that he should watch what he says around people when he just meets them... some of the stuff you were saying could have been offensive you never know what their beliefs are or if they even have a sense of humor.... Gary says, "well they laughed..." I said yeah a nervous laugh like they were not really sure if you were joking or if you were just STUPID to be making these comments about your wife in front of her to people you don't know!!!! I got one more part to this story but I gotta go my show comes on at 9 and I have to get my sister ready for bed now.... I'll email the final episode or episodes tomorrow.... it gets better..... I think?!
Peace! Mattie
This story reminds me of the time when you and I were in Phoenix with Gary and we needed directions and the two European dudes were standing there and he said let me go talk to them I'm White. He is an interesting duck, you gotta love him!!! Cece
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