Ther rest of the story...Texas nice place to visit...

Okay people here is the end of the story as it was a short trip and it felt like we spent the whole time driving.

SO where was I.... OH yeah we got the tractor and just left Klan country with me being totally embarrassed and PISSED OFF! So we get back on the interstate and head to Beaumont Texas where my cousin T lives. Beaumont is a city kind of like Flagstaff but I call it the country especially where my cousin lives and especially since I remember going to her house when we were kids and I asked her why the streets were blocked off and police were everywhere? She said the Klan was having a rally and they have to have the police out to keep the peace. What kind of shit is that...... Anyway, I know my friends know and you all at work have probably heard me say that I suffered a head injury and my memory is not what it use to be.... SO needless to say on the way to my cousin's house we get lost because although I have been there several times and things are looking familiar I can't remember where she lives. Gary and I get into an argument and I am telling him at the top of my lungs that I can't remember so "if you just SHUT UP I could think"..... SO I call my cousin and she tells us the turn off but not direct directions so we are driving down the road and I think I see her street but I am not sure so we pass it and now we are on our way to Port Arthur Texas which is not good... we find a place to turn around and head back to the street I believe is T's. We get to her house she is at work but her husband, is there and after we take a short break where Gary is having a drink with the people down the street WHOM I don't know, we head out to the real country. My dad's parents have a family plot or burial site and Gary wants to see where my dad is buried. We get out there and I take him to my dad's grave and we stand there for a while and I show him the baby's grave, you know my cousin's baby that died he was only 3 he is buried just at my dad's feet sort of, then we walk around and look at some of the other graves. I show Gary my grandparents graves and T's dad's grave.... Gary is standing there looking and THEN its over......he starts crying and I am thinking WHY did we come out here I knew he was a cry baby! I knew he was going to cry.... Jiminy Crickets! He was telling T's husband about the time that he and my dad spent together and then its a waterfall.... As we entered the grave site Gary asked why there was a fence there and whose graves where on the other side of the fence. T's husband explains that back in the day when Blacks and Whites were separated that separation carried on after death, so the side we were on was the "Black" side and the other side was where the "Whites" were buried. Mind you these are people in the same family they are all apart of the same family but separated by skin. Gary says, "I was wondering what I should do when Mattie dies, I guess I could bring her down here and pick up the fence and put her half on the White side and half on the Black side".... Yeah he is really funny! After a while this man comes up and he comes into the grave yard and is looking at us so we explain that this is my family's plot my grandparents and father are buried here and so on. He tells us some stories about how long he has lived here and that some people burned his house down because he wouldn't let them hunt on is property, he makes this statement looking at Gary, which makes me think that some pigmently challenged people burned down his house. BUT he said the next time they came out there his 30/30 Winchester would do the talking for him!!! At this point we left.....

We go to my uncle J's house to visit him for a minute.....my uncle J is that uncle everybody has that says whatever he thinks no matter what! We go in sit down start talking and telling jokes etc., Gary watches for a while then he decides to tell a joke. OH GOD please no! So he starts the joke and then as I expected and the reason for me praying that he wouldn't, he forgets the joke! He can't remember the joke!!! Somebody shoot me NOW! Its an old joke, you know the one that ends with the man telling his wife, it's a small load so I did it by hand"?! Come on everybody knows that joke! Everybody but Gary. After we left my uncle J's house we go to my cousin's house, she is not there she is on her way to Houston to see her mom, but my uncle P and uncle B is there. My cousin comes over and we sit and talk while she eats, she has to eat BEFORE 7:30p.m. ( she is on weight watchers) which my uncles don't understand.... now my cousin is a crowd by herself and I am not talking about her size because I think she looks just fine the way she is, I mean she talks so loud you would think there was a crowd of people around!!!!! Gary comments that his family would never sit around and talk and laugh like we have been doing which he didn't understand but that was the way it was. SO T calls us, the kids are hungry and we have to go BUT not before her husband and my cousin tell my uncles and Gary about me dropping my aunt's keys down the sewer drain and they had to fish them out so she could go home! I hate when they tell that story! Okay so I did drop her keys down the storm/sewer drain but must you tell everybody!!!!!!!!!

That night at T's house, which is a small house she has two bedrooms, we had to sleep on the air mattress on the floor. We finally settle down around midnight and I go to sleep....then I hear this scratching on the mattress. Are you kidding me! SERIOUSLY! Scratching on the mattress I am like..... fuck'en ay man!!!! SO I am thinking there is a frog or a mouse in here! When I went to help T after she had her baby I crashed her car because there was a frog on the side view mirror. SHUT UP ITS NOT FUNNY! There was a frog on the side view mirror and I didn't notice it until I went to reach out the window to get her a deposit slip and I saw these red eyes looking at me.... I jumped in the backseat with T and the baby! Unfortunately... the car was still in drive so it ran into the teller thing. There was a frog on the mirror what did you think I was going to do?! T says to me in a very low, very calm, nonchalant voice, "What the hell is wrong with you?! You see I have this baby in here and you jump in the backseat, why aren't you driving and why did you let the car run into the teller...." I said IT'S A DRIVE THROUGH!!!!!!!!!! I get back in the front roll up the window, and take off... Damn frog was hanging on to even at 50 miles an hour down the freeway!!!!!! Freakin suction cups for feet!!!! Anyway, I am freaking out for the rest of the night.... I try to wake Gary up but he mumbles something like, "the animals are trying to bite me!" I said GARY! He just repeated that the animals were trying to bite him. When daylight finally came I was so happy! Turns out the scratching noise was Einstein next to me... when the animals were trying to bite him, he apparently was grabbing at their mouths trying to keep them from biting by holding them shut! HELP ME!!!!!! Gary and T's husband went to a tractor auction after her husband went and picked up a dead horse on the road, he works for the State. T and I went to Super Wal-Mart... I cooked dinner and we went to bed early because we were leaving the next morning..... we got on the road Sunday morning around 9'ish and stopped just short of El Paso. On our drive we started to run low on petrol so we stopped in what looked like the middle of nowhere to get gas. As we were arranging stuff in the Jeep this lady comes up to us and asks if she can give us something to read? I said sure. We are in the middle of NOWHERE! SERIOUSLY! BUT Jehovah's Witnesses were there! SERIOUSLY.... out of nowhere they were there!!!!!!!!! Anyway... 24 hours later we were back HOME and I was back in my own bed...... THANK YOU GOD! I could go on but I am sure by now there was something for you all to laugh at in this story. If you don't laugh then you feel my pain don't you?!

See ya when I see ya...

Peace! Mattie