This is one from August of 2008, must of you have already read this...TOO bad... My friend is supplying me with old stories I previously wrote prior to including you all in my emails. BUT she is "doling them out one at a time" and the mos recent one she sent is X-rated I am not sure you all are ready for it...
ANYWAY… the other day Gary, (Stinky/Boo boo) and I were invited to dinner at one of our neighbors homes… we have a retired cop from Vegas correction he is a retired Metro SWAT Officer from Las Vegas, NV as one of our neighbors…l call him Cop’er and he currently works for the WPD where he is a Sgt…his wife is a stripper well she is a former stripper we’ll just call her Bambi! We are sitting around the table talking the Democratic Convention is on and we are watching it and talking politics… RED FLAG don’t talk politics at someone else’s house because if the conversation gets HEATED you can’t say. “Get the hell out MY house!” Now according to Cop’er, he and Bambi have discussed this and they have figured it all out that Barack Obama is going to be the next President of these United States… I said really and what makes you think that? He responds “Have you heard him speak?” “Oh he is such a good speaker” Bambi chimes in… I am just looking at them like they are aliens… why does his ability to speak well surprise you? Is he not suppose to? Where does he stand on the issues of the economy, the high price of gasoline, the housing market and most of all the war in Iraq? I said I personally don’t believe that America is ready for a Black President, Obama may look good in the polls but when it comes time to actually cast the ballots I don’t believe he will get the votes. “You are crazy! Why would you say that? Is it because he is Black?” The Cop’er asked. I said who are going to vote for? SILENCE is the response… SEE! THAT is what I am talking about everyone is saying they will vote for Obama but will they????… (I know voting is a personal thing but from what I gather they are Republicans anyway…SERIOUSLY!) I said besides you are a cop what do you know! Cop'er told me this story about a call he went out on in Vegas....they called the SWAT team out in Las Vegas to take out ONE count him ONE man and you guys expended 300 count them 300 hundred bullets and only managed to hit him in the ankle and the butt and the butt shot was probably a ricochet off his ankle! (This is a story the cop told me… why he gave me “ammo” to use against him I don’t know). Now the cop and I go at it all the time he tires to push my buttons he started off the evening by saying, “Hi Mattie! Boy there sure has been a lot of cheating going on in NASCAR!” I said yeah but Jr. is not apart of that he wins/loses like a MAN! Don’t start with me! He is also a Jordan fan… that speaks VOLUMES right there! He also doesn’t listen very well… we went at it the majority of the time we were there… He told us about a time when he got pulled over by a FPD officer and HE accused the officer of profiling and refused to sign the ticket…he said when he told the cop that he was a cop in Vegas and he knows profiling when he sees it the FPD cop backed off… I said NOW how do YOU know about profiling…”the man” really is trying to keep the Black man down AREN’T YOU! And you probably still profile don’t you! He said something I don’t know what… cause I just said SHUT UP you liar!
ANYWAY… we continue watching the convention on TV and Boo is playing cards with Bambi. It is not a real card game it is more like slap jack that usually ends up with Boo having all the cards in her hand, and you trying to get her to give you some while she just laughs at you…NOW usually if there is a man ANYWHERE in the picture my sister will knock you down to get to him… MAN CRAZY yes she is, which is one of my biggest concerns… but I digress… SO we keep talking and all of a sudden I see this finger it looks like ET you know when he touches the kid and fixes his cut or whatever…or when he says “I’ll be right here!” Yeah it is like that…and it is my sister’s and it is slowly moving across the table and then…she did it…YUP she pulled Bambi’s shirt out/down… the Cop’er was in the middle of a question when I exclaimed STINKY DON’T PULL HER SHIRT DOWN! WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU!!! Of course it was too late cause she had already done it…crack! crack! crack! That is sound of me banging my head against the table saying ‘she did not just pull down that lady’s shirt…’ and it was also my way of trying to knock myself unconscious so I wouldn’t laugh ‘cause Bambi is not a “B” cup so this is not good! KILL ME NOW! Fortunately I hear laughter in between the banging so I am thinking it is okay the cop is not going to give us six warning shots in the back for exposing his wife…Now Bambi had on this low cut shirt and the “girls” were on display I guess they apparently fascinated my sister to the point where she wanted to get a better look? I don’t know… they had some powder between them or something… it was weird… I have been told they are store bought I really can’t tell you…okay well yes I can… she is in her 50s and hers are perkier than mine! Bambi is now in the wholesale business she makes hooker/hoochie mama/stripper clothes and sells them… for those of you who may be interested this is her website http://www.bodaciouscurves.com/index.html.
I am not against Bambi and what she does or did, she explained that when she was a stripper she was just trying to provide for her and her son and the reason she makes these clothes now is because this is all she knows. “I don’t have any other skills you know like office so this is what I know and I enjoy it”. Now who am I to judge? I don’t have a heaven or a hell to put her into so… hey she was able to keep her kid and put food on the table…what are you gonna do?
Peace! Mattie
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