Just for my cousin...

Okay my cousin said she wanted me to tell the story of my most humbling experience so far in life...

I went to Texas, I believe it was to help my cousin with her newborn baby or maybe it was for a funeral...I can't remember why I was there. ANYWAY... my Aunt picked me up...OH I think I just remember why it was my dad's funeral....OKAY no it wasn't for that...whatever, I can't remember... as I was saying my Aunt picked me up at the airport and my luggage was in her car. Now you have to know that my Aunt is no joke, she don't play and she will get in that a$$ if she need too. BUT she is also nice as long as you don't test her! My cousin and her husband came to pick me up and we were all sitting around talking and laughing about childhood visits to Texas and what happened while we were there. SO everybody is talking it is getting late and we need to go...I ask my Aunt for her keys so that I can get my luggage out of her car and put it in my cousin's car. No big deal right? WRONG! My Aunt parked her car over a sewer or drainage grate, so you needed to be careful where you step so you wouldn't step wrong on the grate and twist your ankle or fall, etc., ESPECIALLY if you are wearing a dress, which is what I was wearing (well it was a skirt)...ANYWAY... NOW I open my Aunt's trunk and I go to pull out my suitcase but I have to use both hands so I am trying to figure out where to put the keys so I don't lose them. I KNOW! I will put them in my skirt, you know I will put it so that one part of the key is inside the top of my skirt and the other half is hanging over the side so I can easily grab them and hand them to my Aunt. COOL! I put the keys in my skirt and I reach in to pull out the suitcase and I lift up and wallah...as I pull up on the suitcase I bring it close to my side AND it knocks the keys into my skirt and with my slip on they slide down my side into the SEWER! YES! I just dropped my Aunt's keys into the sewer/drain...OH HELL NO! This is not happening...I get the suitcase out and I look down at the sewer/drain and NOPE they didn't get stuck on the grate they fell through....YES can you say even at the age of 40 you are about to get your a$$ kicked!!! This is not good...her keys went in the sewer/drain and she needs to get back to Houston...GOD PLEASE HELP ME!

I come in the house and I say in a scared child like voice looking at the ground and kicking my feet... uuummm Aunt ___ uuummm excuse me Aunt ___ I just dropped your keys in the sewer/drain...and I slowly point to the door to indicate that outside in the sewer you will find your keys. Have you seen those scenes in the movies where say a Black person walks into a redneck bar or biker bar or a country club and when they do the whole place goes silent...well yeah that is what happened. My Aunt says, "What did she just say?" I said, still in a low child like voice, I just dropped your keys in the sewer drain. Aunt "Did she just say she dropped my keys in the sewer? I know she did not just say she dropped my keys in the sewer.... YOU DROPPED MY KEYS IN THE SEWER DRAIN??!!!!!" Well yeah. Now my Uncles are not making this any better because they revert back to childhood and say..."ooooooooo!" You know how you do when someone does something and you know they are going to get it...yeah that is what they were saying. SO we all go outside and it is dark and everybody is standing around looking at the drain, they go and get flashlights and coat hangers...My Uncle says pointing yeah there they are. REALLY! So they start fishing around with the coat hanger and there is some discussion that they could wait until it rained and it would start the drain flowing and they would come out the other end, my Aunt is mumbling to herself out loud, "they BETTER get my keys out or she gone get knocked out"(something like that)...meanwhile they keep fishing....and PRAISE THE LORD! They get the keys out!!! Do the happy dance!!!! Needless to say that I am not allowed to touch anybodies keys when I go to Texas and even though that was at least 5 or more years ago, they will not let me live that mistake down. My cousin's husband was talking mad s8$# too! "Yeah you not so funny now are you! YEAH you don't have anything to say do you! Oh I have never seen you so humble in my life, you were very childlike when you came in here huh, uumm Aunt ____?" And on and on...

Neither he nor my Aunt or Uncle nor my cousins who were there will let me live that down... I hate Texas!!!!

Peace! Mattie