Peace Be The Journey (Cool Runnings)!

Derrick: I have sat through this entire trial and the one question I kept asking myself is why and how? Why were Mike and Nora taken so soon in the ‘twilight’ of their lives, and how did you get the drop on Mike? I am sure everyone who is forced into this situation has that same question, perhaps there is no suitable answer to this question because no matter what the response, it is not really enough. There were a LOT of questions about Nora and Mike, and in my mind I kept screaming the answers because Nora and Mike were my friends. They were OUR friends, Gary and I, Charlotte and Darrell, Marcia and Danny, Dee and Reed, Tim and Stephanie, Gary and Pam, Dave and Lugene, Terri and Brandon, Bob, Debbie, Nell, and so many others. They were OUR family Asja, Anthony, Christian, and their granddaughter Tatum, Rosemary, Kathy, -Allison, and others.  The question of why Nora had a flashlight in her hand at the time of her death seemed obvious to me and to anyone else who lived out in the Red Lake area. On May 1st there was a waxing crescent of a moon, 5 days after a new moon, which means it was really DARK out on Spring Valley Road in the 'Red Lake' area. The darkness out in that area was such that it enveloped you so that you couldn’t see your hand in front of your face. It was a scary kind of darkness if you were walking around out there and didn’t know where you were, and even if you did know some form of light was needed. Public electricity ended at Mike and Nora's property. Where we lived just off Spring Valley on Red Mountain Road, which is about a mile and a half from Mike and Nora's home, there was no public electricity. We used solar energy, and our house was usually dark with the exception of the ‘blue light’ from the television. Neighbors in the area called us the ‘blue light’ house because we chose to use the limited power we had to watch TV. Before they had public electricity, Mike and Nora would use their power to read books. Because our house was dark and had no window coverings we could see Mike and Nora’s house pretty well and knew Nora’s routine based on when the lights came on at the Dimuria property. My sister, who is mentally disabled, loved looking out the windows. When she saw the lights come on at the Dimuria house she would get really excited and make lots of noise and point in their direction, and Gary and I would say ‘Nora’s home!’ We were a tight knit little community out there and we (Gary and I) knew Mike and Nora for 17/18 years. Charlotte and Darrell knew them for 20 years, Marcia and Danny 20, Terri and Brandon 10, Gary and Pam 17/18, and on and on. We were friends who became family. We use to have ‘porch parties’ in the summer and each month the ‘porch’ would change but the guests stayed the same. We all hung out together because we cared about each other and liked spending time with each other whenever possible. When Gary and I were building our log cabin, Gary spent so much time in the emergency room, that I started calling Nora his girlfriend because she saw his ass more than I did. He was always in for a tetanus shot or having something sewn up or removed, and Nora was always the nurse. Nora and Mike helped us out a lot, as any friend or family member would. But I digress let’s get back to the flashlight. Nora's routine went something like this: she went to work at the clinic/hospital in Williams, she left early in the morning and she came home 12 hours later. Because I had to drive into Flagstaff every day I also had to be up early and would get home late. When Nora got up in the morning, Mike got up with her and they had breakfast/coffee together as Mike prepared her lunch for the day. Mike and Nora's outside lights were on just before dawn and they stayed on until Nora left for work. The outside lights came on again around 8:15 p.m. and stayed on until about 8:30 p.m. when Nora came home. Mike turned on the lights for Nora in the morning so she could see her way to her vehicle, and he turned them on at night so she could see her way from her vehicle to the house. Mike lived for Nora and Nora lived for Mike, he did everything for her, sometimes to the point of smothering, and she did the same for him. So on May 1st when Nora came home and there were no outside lights on, because Mike was unable to turn them on for her as he always did, she pulled out her flashlight so she could see her way. She stopped at the Tatum house because she saw a light on abd she probably figured Mike was in there preparing for guests they were expecting that weekend. Mike and Nora had just started renting out the Tatum house as an Airbnb/VRBO, and even though they had only rented it out a couple of times, the review(s) for the property and the owners were 5- star – AWESOME! Nora walked into the Tatum house. Who knows what she saw when she walked in, but we know she left in a hurry, leaving her lunch bag/purse there. She ran into the main house through the front door, which nobody used, and she became a moving target who didn't have a chance. The flashlight she was using to see was like a neon light to the person shooting at her. Why? Why did you have to be there when she got home? Why did you have to pursue her with gunfire as she ran for her life? Why did you have to stand over her and shoot her in the head? Nora and her curly red hair, which you made redder with her blood as she was running for her life, I am sure she was wondering why too.  Mike and Nora lived pretty simply on their 40 acres. He sold 10 acres to LP so he could bring electricity to his property. I am sure it was something Nora wanted more than Mike, but since Mike would do anything for Nora, it’s not surprising. As friends/family of Mike and Nora, you were always greeted the same way. Upon arriving at the Dimuria property you received a hug and a kiss…on the lips from Mike and Nora. No matter how you may have tried to avoid it, you would be greeted this way, and when you left, you left the same way, with a hug and a kiss. When I saw Mike and Nora in mid-April, we laughed and talked and drank and smiled. Mike would do his silly game with my sister to make her laugh, and Nora would play a card with her that only those two understood, and they would laugh. When it came time to leave Nora said to me, “We see Gary all the time. We don’t want to see him, we want to see you!” We laughed and I said “I’ll be back…don’t worry I will back soon.” And then they were gone. The dreaded hug and kiss are now cherished as that was the last time I saw Nora and Mike. They were smiling and we were all laughing. ‘I’ll be back.’ You took the time to say good-bye to your family and friends and let them know they wouldn’t be seeing you again. I am sure they will cherish those hugs and those kisses they got from you, even though they may have been confused by what you were saying. I am sure you will cherish those hugs and kisses too. BUT Mike and Nora didn’t get to say good-bye to their loved ones. They didn’t get to give them hugs and kisses and tell them “you won’t be seeing me again.” You took that away from them, just like you took away the peace in the little community that once lived out on Spring Valley Road. It is amazing how in just a blink of an eye everything can change. Mike called his daughter every morning, but on May 2nd she didn’t get a phone call from her dad. She got a call from the police, telling her her dad was gone. No more daddy’s little girl, just chaos and noise that I am sure hasn’t stopped. Mike’s sons will never hear their dad say he is proud of them or have their dad offer to help them. They will never get the opportunity to make their dad proud because no matter what they do now, their dad is not here. Tatum doesn’t have a Poppa and Grandma Nora anymore. She doesn’t have her doting grandparents anymore who think the sun rises and sets on her, so much so that they named their guest house just for her. No more porch parties or Fourth of July BBQs with laughter and smiles, horseshoes and corn-hole. No more Nora standing with her arms outstretched saying “What!?!” No more. The house is silent now, the kids won’t come here anymore, and the laughter and smiles have stopped. And all I want to know is WHY? Why couldn’t you have just taken their stuff and left…why take their lives? I guess for you it is better to be known as a murderer than just a thief? You are more of a thief because you stole their lives, but society will call you a murderer. Why? Your life sucked, I understand you were raised by someone called ‘animal’… how sad. When I heard that, I had to ask the question, did you just say ‘animal’? So now that you have done this, does it make your life suck less? Because I would think the sucky part hasn’t even started yet. There is a saying that goes, ‘just because you were raised by animals doesn’t mean you have to act like one.’ I guess they were wrong. Judge Slayton: Since Derrick decided that Mike and Nora didn’t deserve to see another day, I think the same should be decided about his freedom. I think he should be given the maximum sentence allowable for each count, to be served consecutively, and that there should be no possibility of parole for the two murder charges. See ya when I see ya! Peace! Mattie

HOPE

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!! SO... I am feeling some kind of way and I am not quite sure what the feeling is... I went to do some community service on Sunday. I went to Hope Cottage which is a women's shelter, a place for abused women to find solace...shelter from the outside, food for the body and food the soul. At this shelter they provide a warm bed, food prepared by the ladies in the shelter or by those in the community, like we did, and ministry...church, discipleship and fellowship. Food for the body and soul! I was surprised by the ladies I saw in the Cottage. They have the capacity to house about 45 women, 20 single women and the rest is for families. I saw some women who appeared to be in their late 60s early 70s...and I saw a 3 month old baby with her protective mother. I believe I even saw 3 generations of women there a mother, her daughters and her daughters children...young men are allowed up to the age of 13...BUT the whole time I was there I felt uneasy kind of out of place and the thought who am I kept repeating my head. Who am I that I have what I have and these ladies don't? Who am I that I have all that I have and all these women have is what they can fit in the small space they have been given in this place. Who am I that I am able to go to the bank and pull out money and get a hotel room or place to stay and these women can't afford to do so...if things had turned out differently I could be one of these women. I could be in this place....I could be depending on the kindness of strangers for the bare necessities of everyday life. Although I was feeling out of sorts the women there seemed happy and were grateful for everything. I went on a tour of the facility and the lady who was walking us around was talking of how she KNEW she was BLESSED to be there she had been there 4 or 5 years before and even though she found herself there again she knew it was where she was supposed to be. She talked about how she had been running away from God (her blessing) for 56 years and that while she was running she was willing to serve herself to extreme and did it well. BUT she said what she knew was that despite what she was doing and how hard she ran, she knew God was there waiting for her to stop running. She said she felt HOPE and BLESSED to be there. BLESSED...I guess blessing come in many ways and what is being blessed to one may not mean or look the same as being blessed to someone else. BLESSED to be in a shelter... When I was a kid I thought of running away a LOT! BUT I didn't know what to do or where I would go...I was thinking Hollywood would be good but where was it? How would I get there...where would I live? I wonder if there would have been a shelter like the one I was now standing in to help me? I wonder if I would have made it pass the woods in the front of the house before my parents found me. At the time as a kid the thought of being homeless didn't seem to be a big deal to me, but looking at the faces of some of the kids in the shelter it showed me that my thoughts on the matter may have been misguided. There were some elementary school aged boys who were just happy to have each other to play with and then there were some teenage girls who seemed unhappy to be there. Some people were devouring their food and timidly asking for more while some barely took any and only pushed it around on their plates. I wonder how far I would have made it? I wonder what would have happened if I tried...what seemed to be impossible circumstances at home to me may have been no big to the women in here. What I took away from the experience is the overwhelming gratitude these women had for all that they have. As we were cleaning up and preparing to leave the ladies called us up front and as we stood there they expressed their THANKS for the food we had prepared and gratitude for us taking the time to prepare it and share with them. Then they gave us an angel to put on the tree at church and said...'We HOPE YOU have a BLESSED holiday season'... in spite of where they are currently they wanted us to be blessed. WOW...situations and circumstances do not define you they MAKE YOU! The question is who are YOU?! I was happy that I walked out of that place with a better sense of what should and shouldn't be taken seriously...what should and shouldn't occupy my time, my thoughts and my being...if it is not doing anything to make me a better me then there is no room for it. I was also happy that I walked out with JUST the ham bone from the ham I made...instead of a whole family or group of women to bring home with me. Bringing them home with me wouldn't have really changed their situation or their circumstances it would have just changed the location. I pray that I am worthy of the blessing that have been bestowed on me and that I used these blessing to bless someone else. I pray that God truly BLESES those women and children in that shelter and those who have taken on the responsibility to help those in need. May the needs of those in the shelter be filled and may they continue to be grateful. Bless those who are still displaced from the hurricanes and without homes. In Jesus name I pray. Amen. May you be truly THANKFUL for all you have and may you make 2018 the year you help another human being who may not be able to help them self.

See ya when I see ya! Peace! Mattie

It's Just Mattie: In the Twinkling of an Eye

It's Just Mattie: In the Twinkling of an Eye: So somethings have happened that cause me to have to write this message about how quickly life can change. I have two friends who were take...

See ya when I see ya!Peace! Mattie

In the Twinkling of an Eye

So somethings have happened that cause me to have to write this message about how quickly life can change. I have two friends who were taken away from us way too soon! I attended their memorial service yesterday, it was somber and balloons were released after the service to 'send messages up to Mike and Nora in heaven'. It was AWESOME but also HOT in the Valley for those of us who had just experienced snow earlier in the week. There were lots of people family and friends came together to say good-bye to their loved ones. The Pastor of the church was saying that we all needed to remember that this family is about to experience a LOT of FIRSTS in the coming year, first Father's Day without their father, first Mother's day without their mother, first birthdays...holidays...actually each day is the first day without their parents because each day is new, the date changes things change but the pain will remain. People say time heals all things and in time you will feel better, my Daddy died 14 years ago and it still hurts. My Daddy died of congestive heart failure, Mike and Nora were killed. Someone decided that these two people no longer deserved to be on this earth so he took them out. And in a twinkling of an eye lives were changed for good. Scenario after scenario has been discussed, the whys have been asked and still Mike and Nora are not here. I have been trying to make sense of it myself, to understand why two people I had seen recently, and saw regularly for the past 16 years, who I told I would be back to see them are no longer here for me to see. It is absolutely crazy to me that I won't hear Nora's laugh or Mike won't be brushing Stinky's shoulder off, then Stinky brushing Mike's touch off and then they are on with their touching game. I showed Stinky a picture of Mike and Nora and I said, 'who is that?!' She got the biggest smile on her face and pointed at their picture and started laughing. Every time I would say who is that she would just smile and laugh. Nora would always point to whatever Stinky was pointing at or take the cards Stinky would be playing with that they gave her and say'HEY that's my card...you can't have my card!' Then they would both laugh and laugh until Nora had tears in her eyes...I would just shake my head 'cause it wasn't that funny to me but it was their connection and I didn't have to get it. One night when we had first moved out to Spring Valley Gary and I were invited to a Rodeo at the Coconino Fair Grounds (Fort Tuthill) and Mike and Nora offered to watch my sister for us, so we could have a night out. We went to the Rodeo which was 45 miles and a hour away. When we got home Mike and Nora were sitting in the living room watching TV (Forrest Gump or Ray or some video), we asked them how 'babysitting' went and they were 'Oh it was great! We ate dinner, we watched TV then put her in the bed and she was great, we haven't heard a peep out of her!' I said really? Then I walked over to the stairs and said Stinky come here, at that point my sister who had been sitting at the top of the stairs walked down the stairs in her pajamas. No one knows how long she had been sitting there. We just said it's a good thing she is not a kid cause you guys would not have passed the babysitting test! They were actually the best and since Nora was a nurse we knew if something happened she would know what to do. Outside of my sisters and brothers and my mom, Mike and Nora are the only people who have been left alone with my sister. (My sister has brain damage and is unable to speak so leaving her with anyone outside the immediate family is a big deal. After all if she were to get hurt she wouldn't be able to tell us what happened so we have to be able to trust the people around here.)You could trust Mike and Nora, especially Nora with your life. It is hard to believe they are gone. I haven't cried for Mike and Nora. I haven't cried for my Daddy or my Uncles and Aunts who have passed away, its like I can understand the 'why' they (My Daddy, Aunts and Uncles) had to leave...congestive heart failure, cancer, long illnesses where them leaving makes sense because you know they are no longer suffering or in pain. BUT Mike and Nora's leaving makes no sense to me, they weren't in any pain, no one had cancer or was suffering from any illness, someone for some reason decided to play God and felt it was their time to go. Why? '1 Corinthians 15:52 In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.' Changed in the twinkling of an eye. Sad to say I think I have been changed by this violence, I felt the change when I saw the house where the crime took place...I saw it when I saw the children walking around dazed, confused and lost...the friends who were inconsolable and in the grandkids who 'just wanted to know why they did this to us'....I know that sadly this kind of thing happens everyday all day, but this is the first time it's happened to me. I hope that we all find a way to cope with the loss of Mike and Nora (they were dad, mom, aunt, cousin, friend, nurse, confidant, etc., etc. to us)and that instead of being changed for the worst by them leaving us, we are somehow changed for the good, by remembering the good they did! Until we meet again my friends.... See ya when I see ya! Peace! Mattie

A Letter to our Council Members

Dear Council Members: When my sister was 18 months old, she came down with a really high fever. She was taken to the Doctor and then rushed to the hospital where they immediately submerged her into a tub of ice. They continued to give her ice baths and wrap her in cold towels trying everything possible to make her fever break. In the midst of her fever and diarrhea she fell into a coma where she remained for a week. After a week my parents were informed by the Doctor(s) that they had done all they could do and they were going to 'pull the plug' on her (remove her from the equipment she was attached to while in her coma state). The Doctor told my parents they should go in and say their last good-byes, she is 18 months old, she is in a coma and her fever still hasn't broken. My Dad went in to see my sister and when he did she moved. My Dad went out and told the Doctor(s) that she moved, the Doctors came back in and hooked her back up and eventually got the fever to break and her to wake up. THANK GOD! Unfortunately, the fever had essentially 'cooked' her brain ultimately affecting the side of her brain that controls her speech. My parents said that at the time she became ill she was more advanced than children her age, she was walking and talking and could do things other children couldn't. I have this memory of my sister when we were little, I can see her with my Dad and he is putting her coat on and she is kind of limp and she says to him "Daddy I don't feel good". I can't really remember what her voice sounded like or if it is an actual memory or something I imagined, but I cling to it as a real memory of my sister before she could no longer speak. My parents were also told by the Doctors at that time that they should "put her (my sister) away and forget about her, she will just become a burden to your family" they said. My parents refused to do so and she has been in our home from birth. The only other place my sister has been as much as our home, is Hozhoni Foundation for the Handicapped. Hozhoni is as much apart of our home as anyone else in the family. The staff and the people who have worked with my sister over the years have all been amazing human beings. I am sure you all know that not everyone is cut out to do such work, and those who do should be APPLAUDED! I am aware that the current rise in minimum wage will affect all of the working class, prices will increase and those increases will be passed on to the consumers. For those living in the residences provided by Hozhoni and other facilities, the increased costs can't be passed onto their clients, because those clients are receiving their funding from the Government or State. Those of us who have loved ones with disabilities are also aware that the funds being used to provide services for those with disabilities will not increase since those funds are being provided by the Government, or the State. Hozhoni will be getting a 7% increase to help defray some of the costs of the initial wage increase (Prop 206). However, the current rise in minimum in Flagstaff is set to increase 50% since January of this year (2017) 25% due to Prop 206 and an additional 25% due to Prop 414 in July. An additional increase Hozhoni will not be able to bear. It has never occurred to me that Hozhoni would not be there for my sister or any of its other clients, it is to me something that is needed and something that I thought would surely be there for those who need it. Sadly this may not be the case for Hozhoni and other facilities in Flagstaff should Prop 414 be implemented. Prop 206 which raised the minimum wage to $10.00 per hour was a much needed increase in the wages for those who are making minimum wage earnings trying to support their families. However, the additional increase of Prop 414 bringing the minimum wage up to $12.00 per hour in less than 6 months (July) will bring a hardship on Hozhoni that will force it to close. I have a niece who has Down Syndrome, she is currently attending Coconino High School, she LOVES school. I am her legal guardian and I have been trying to decide whether or not to let her continue at Coconino until her 21st birthday, or take her out after her Senior year. I was thinking once she completed her vocational training she could start at Hozhoni and be apart of one of their work programs, based on her skill level. But, if Hozhoni is not there she will have no place to go in Flagstaff to continue her efforts of becoming independent and making a contribution to society. My sister is one of 862 clients currently using the services provided by Hozhoni and other providers here in Flagstaff. That number is only going to increase as those with disabilities currently attending the local high schools (Coconino and Flagstaff High School) age out or leave those schools. I am sending this email in the hopes of encouraging you to put a new initiative on the ballot in May Concerning the above mentioned Proposition. My plea is on behalf of my sister and my niece and all the other clients who depend on Hozhoni and other facilities here in Flagstaff for a place to live, or a place to go during the day where they can be with others of similar disabilities and socialize. If Hozhoni and the other facilities in Flagstaff are forced to shut down because they are unable to comply with the current propositions these additional people will become apart of the State run facilities. Or families will be forced to move where facilities are available, which may not be an option for all who are affected. I am sure the majority of the State run facilities are at maximum capacity, as they not only house the disabled but also the mentally ill. I could be mistaken but this seems to be putting a strain on a system that is already being cut and marginalized. I hate to think of another Willowbrook State School popping up, or worst. Prop 206 which raised the minimum wage to $10.00 per hour was a much needed increase. However, the additional increase of Prop 414 bringing the minimum wage up to $12.00 per hour in July will bring a hardship on Hozhoni and other facilities that will force them to close. I hope this is not the case. I would love to have my sister continue at Hozhoni and my niece is looking forward to riding the bus with her Aunt when the time comes. Thank you for your time, attention and consideration of this request to add an initiative to the May ballot regarding raising the minimum wage in a modified form that will allow those businesses like Hozhoni and other facilities an opportunity to try and comply while keeping their doors opens for those they serve. -- See ya when I see ya! Peace! Mattie

What Is That Smell??????!!!!!!

HELLO PEOPLE!!! How the heck are you? I hope this writing finds you well and in good health! I was taking my sister and my niece to my mom's house so they could catch the bus, and I just tucked my night shirt into a pair of fleece sweat pants threw on some oversize Ugg boots and my coat! I didn't even stop to take the 'wave' cap off my head or wash my face and my mouth guard is still in so you know MORNING breath is killer about now! After the obligatory get in the car request that lasts about 5 minutes or 15 sayings, whichever comes first, they get in the car and we are off! I remember my mom telling me stories about going to the grocery store she would say, "I just ran around there to the store I tucked my nightgown into my pants and threw my coat on over it". As the story would go on at some point she would say that noticed people looking at her and they would stare for a minute then continue on, finally she would try to figure out what they were looking at and she would look down and see that her gown had made its way down below her pant leg and was hanging out...or her coat was up in the back cause she didn't tuck her gown in right so the coat got hung up on the BULGE in the back...the best one of all would be when she would say her wig was on crooked or backwards....and my all time favorite is when she would say the STRAP from the wig was hanging down and she didn't notice it, but then she felt something on her face! Aaaaaahhhh yeah that is about the time I would say YOU DIDN'T TELL ANYBODY YOU'RE MY MOM DID YOU????!!!!!! (Panic would have kicked up a notch by then, it had already started when she said "I went to the store...") She would laugh and say, "Naw I didn't see anybody I know, but nobody can laugh harder at me, than me so while them folks were pointing and laughing so was I." I would usually say DAMN! right about this time... This morning when I got to my mom's house I took the kids in and caught a glimpse of myself in the hall mirror. I reflected on the hard time I had given my mom about going out in public looking like that with the multicolors and backwards wig, etc., and I thought "I AM MY MOTHER!" Look at what I am wearing... after my niece gets on the bus and I chit chat a little with my mom and sit my sister down with her snack. I say okay I have to go get ready for work and I go back out to the car and get in, I take a deep 'cleansing' breath in to relax myself...then I realize that one of those little shits FARTED OR SHIT their pants on the way out of the car! With the windows being up because it is only 29 degrees the smell has had time to fester and get ANGRY! The car is running and the heat is on so now I am fighting for my life to find the window release...as a tear runs down my face and I attempt to find some form of FRESH air I think...sometimes I feel sad that I don't have children of my own, after I am gone there will be no one left with a little piece of my attitude, my outlook on life, my sense of humor...then as I notice the tint peeling off the window and the feeling of faintness coming over me from holding my breath, I remember aaaahhhhh yeah this is why I don't have children. FREAKIN' A MAN WHAT IS THAT SMELL???? What have they been eating and SERIOUSLY who farts on their way out of the car...why couldn't they wait until they were out and do that....DAMN! I hope you have a day filled with the smell of roses...trust me it has to be better than that stench in my car!!! See ya when I see ya! Peace! Mattie

Evaluation...Have You Evaluated Yourself....

Its HUMP DAY!!!! Guess what day it is??? Oh yeah I just told you ITS HUMP DAY!!!! Question. Have you ever done a self evaluation? Have you ever looked at yourself and thought back to your childhood and through your teen years, young adult into adulthood and evaluated yourself. Did you make the right choices at times or did you make mistakes? If you made a mistake did you learn from it? If you knew then what you know now how would you have done things differently? I sit and think about these things sometimes. I know that from childhood to now I have gone through some things that I wouldn't wish on anyone BUT I hope I learned... I have LOTS of things now that I didn't have back then, but I have come to the conclusion that THINGS don't make me happy. People don't make me happy. What makes me happy is being able to take care of my sister and my niece, being with my friends, Gary (on occasion when he is not annoying the hell out of me) AND my relationship with the Creator. I try not to get to caught up in the creations and forget who I believe created it. And let me say the I in that sentence is emphasized BOLD AND ITALICS and larger font if you please. I am not here to debate 'religion' or your belief versus my belief, I am just here to tell you that MY beliefs make me happy! Do yours? In the grand scheme of things we all want to be happy and if you are not happy with where you are, who you are and what is going on around you...do some self evaluation find out what the common thread or denominator is in each situation that you are unhappy about and then evaluate it. I did. I looked back over the jobs I have had in the past and I thought about them and what happened...mostly I (emphasis added) got pissed and I quit. I (emphasis added) didn't like the something and I walked away...BUT then I realized that I needed to look at me and stop looking over at Jane and finding fault with Jane, and try to figure out what is wrong with me! Its time to do some self inventory and find out what things you can change with yourself or about yourself that is keeping you from being HAPPY! Time is truly to short not to be happy and in the end most people who aren't happy, haven't really looked at themselves. Just some thoughts that crossed my mind as I was thinking about my niece and how far she has come, she got to the last three steps on the stairs today and turned around and walked down SLOWLY backwards!!!:D) AMAZING! You have no idea how awesome that is, we are talking about someone who has to sit and scoot down the first flight of stairs on her butt cause she is so afraid, but then gets to the bottom and walks down backward. Ain't that nice!!!! Evaluate yourself people, how you present yourself in the world affects the world around you. Make sure you are having a positive affect!!! LET'S GET IT!!! See ya when I see ya! Peace! Mattie

50 and FAB-U-LOUS

Hello People!!! How the heck are you on this Terrific TUESDAY!!!! I hope this writing finds you well and in good health!!:D) As I ascend into my FIFTIES I have noticed that even in these first 7 months there are somethings that have changed about me that I didn't think could. HOT FLASHES!!! They are a common thing BUT the only thing that gets hot on me is my head! can you imagine you head just heats up to 10,000 degrees for a 15 seconds then you are back to 'normal'. WHO DOES THAT?! I DO!!! Sweat pouring off every possible open pore on my forehead, face and neck.....UGH!!!!! BUT HEY I am 50 and I am FAB-U-LOUS!!! I can't see small writing anymore I have these 'progressive' glasses that have "Bifocals" in them 'only a slight magnitude' so I am not blind yet! BUT I can wear them and trip over thin air because depending on where I am looking through the glasses there might be a change in distance, which throws my perception off and I step when there is no step, don't step when I should and trip when the ground is flat. BUT HEY I am 50 and I FAB-U-LOUS!!! I noticed that my knees are starting to crack, crackle and POP when I stand up, and standing up takes a little more effort these days. UNLESS there is an insect involved and then I can do this hunchback of Notre Dame thing where I am running hunched over...kind of like Lurch! BUT my hair looks good and I am still in pretty good shape and let's not forgot most importantly I am 50 and I am FAB-U-LOUS!!!! You all know that I take care of my niece and my sister, my niece is doing EXTRAORDINARILY well these days so now I find myself thinking is her attitude age appropriate for 16 or do I need to discuss upping her medication. I heard her say this morning,as I was telling her for the umpteenth time to GET DRESSED and COME ON!!!, that I make her sick..."you make me sick." Now I am thinking is that just the attitude of a 16 year old early in the morning or do we need to up her medication cause there is no way I can make anyone sick...I am GREAT! I am ME! I am 50 and I am FAB-U-LOUS!!!!! Kids can really check your ego for you...TRUST ME!!! I have a few more months of being 50 then I will move on up to 51 then 52 and so on God willing and now I look forward to seeing what else is going to change...my attitude? NAH!!! My looks? NAH!!! ME??? NAH!!! I am 50 and I am FAB-U-LOUS will be my mantra from now until I am 80!!!! I hope you all find your mantra and happy place and don't let anyone or anything change you! Not even mother nature making you sweat and creek or kids checking your ego for you!!! It is another day above ground and the sun is shinning let's make it do what it do.... LET'S GET IT!!!! See ya when I see ya! Peace! Mattie

The Good Thing About Being Black....

HELLO PEOPLE! How the heck are you? I hope life is treating you well... I was just thinking about a story I wrote a long time ago before they had blogs and I sent it to my friends. They enjoyed it a LOT and I was wondering if I told the story again would it be just as funny? It is a true story and I think about it sometimes when I walk up and down the stairs.... Now as I remember I wrote: The good thing about being Black is you can have a black-eye and bruised face and nobody will no the difference. (Actually now that I think about it, it is not really a good thing if you are being abused and don't know how to ask for help hopefully someone who sees you battered will ask for help for you.) BUT in my case it was a good thing. Anyway...one night in the middle of the night I had to go pee. You know how that is you are warm and cozy in the bed and so you lay there talking to yourself about whether or not you should get up in the cold and go to the bathroom or stay warm in bed. The warm in bed feels so good, but it could actually be warmer if you pee on yourself cause you didn't get up and go to the bathroom like you know you NEED to! So half asleep I get up and start walking towards the bathroom, somehow in the sleep stupor I am walking in I manage to turn slightly and the next thing I know....BAM! I walked right into one of the pillars holding up the cabin...HARD! I stagger back and grab the right side of my face try to laugh it off but its kind of hard to do with the pain in my eye...lip...cheek...nose...I find my way to the bathroom and sit turn on the light and sit down still holding my face. I finish doing what I got up to do and get up and look in the mirror. WHAT THE @$%@##!!!! My eye is swelling shut, my lip is three times it normal size and my cheek is red and purple....I call out for Gary. "Gary". I am still looking at myself horrified as things continue to change colors and swell. "Gary". There is sounds of snoring coming from the bedroom...is that blue and purple I see on my eyelid, that would be cool if I wore make-up? WOW that's a pretty color of red. "GARY!!" I can't believe women pay to have collagen put in their lips to get them this big "GARY GARY GARY!!!!!!" Finally I hear WHAT?! "Come here!!!!" 'What the hell do you want???!!!' "LOOK AT MY FACE!!!" What's wrong with your face? "LOOK AT MY FACE!!!!" I close my eyes and point to the rainbow affect taking place there and then to my lip which is the size of a beach ball now. I said 'Gary I walked into the pillar and now look at my face!' WHY DDIDN'T YOU COME WHEN I CALLED YOU THE FIRST TIME!!!! What first time? Seriously Gary??? I could have fallen down the stairs and killed myself and you wouldn't have heard a thing would you? Gary said, "If you were really hurt you would have been swearing and then I would have known there was a problem." REALLY?! Gary is Irish and to him that means profanity is the acceptable language to use in all situations and MUST be used as often as possible and with much vigor and color!!!! Gary can stub his toe or drop something on the floor and a barrage of profanity will follow. I don't get it but that's how he rolls it. I remember when I had surgery and my sister came to help me and take care of my sister while I was recovering. Gary went to KFC to get some food for us, since I was recovering and my sister was being me at the time, which meant she spent most of her day in Flagstaff and two hours driving back and forth between Williams and Flagstaff. When Gary got back home with the food it was discovered that they had forgot to put the coleslaw in the bag, Gary had gone through the drive thru and he did not check the bag before he pulled off. To my sister's surprise upon the discovery of the missing coleslaw Gary proceed to let out a barrage of profanity that would have made Joan Rivers take notes! "Son of a $%^#&# Mother&#^#%@&*(@ they didn't put the coleslaw in the bag...@#^*&^$Y&#$(* )(#$)#($*#)($*)# $$$holes! @#%^$&*#&(*$&#)_!*#(&*** you ruined the whole thing! The WHOLE THING IS RUINED NOW WITHOUT THE COLESLAW!!!!" I am laying in the bed trying to get comfortable and my sister comes up the stairs and says in a hushed voice,"Should we be concerned? Do we need to leave?" I asked what the matter was and she said, "Don't you hear Gary downstairs?" I said oh yeah...ignore him he always does that when things go wrong or he stubs his toe or drops something...he's IRISH! He will calm down and stop talking in a minute. She said really? Are you sure??? I said yeah just go down and eat the chicken and mashed potatoes it will be alright in a minute. Gary you gotta love him! Sometimes.... Anyway...back to my original story...so that morning when I got up I realized that it was not a nightmare that I had the night before and that I really did have a black-eye, bruised cheek and a Steve Harvey size lip! I got dressed and went to work and walked around the whole day, at a LAW FIRM, and no one asked me any questions or said,'WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU EYE! WHY IS YOUR LIP SO BIG!!!' NOPE no one said a thing to at all which is why I thought it is good to be Black cause nobody can tell when you jacked up! On the one hand it was nice cause the true story of walking into the pillar at the time seemed kind of lame on the other hand really people you couldn't see I had a black eye and big lip???!!! I think I told the story better the first time, cause I was in the moment of the actual event. BUT when I think back on it, it is funny. See ya when I see ya! Peace! Mattie

SO What's It All About....

HELLO PEOPLE!!! Can you believe that January is almost over??? WOW the first month of the year 2015 and it will be over in 3 days...CRAZY!!! Time is flying by these days and people are becoming more and more self absorbed and actually more and more brazen with the things they are doing NOTHING seems to be off limits. I saw an advertisement the other day for a show that is coming to a cable TV near you. It is called "Sex in a Box", the premise of the show couples have sex in a box in front of an audience. I thought I was hearing things but NOPE that is an actual show and it will be on for you to view if you so chose. I don't believe the box is clear I think it is shaded BUT they will have lights on it thus you will be able to see the silhouettes of the people involved. That and they walk out afterwards and off to the side of the stage...I THINK they will be critiquing the performance? I don't really know why it's a show as my mouth was dropped open and you know when your mouth is open it clogs your hearing. Well, it does mine. Are we really that desperate for something to see on TV that this is entertaining???? LORD PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON US!!!! Somethings just make you shake your head in disbelief you wonder what are people thinking or more plainly....WHAT THE HELL???? I have been doing that a LOT lately things seem to be spiraling out of the 'norm' and into the great unknown and believe me it's really SCARY! My niece is seeming to go backwards again and that is NOT acceptable! She was supposed to come to the house the other day, she wouldn't come. She thought smiling, hugging and almost cooing like a baby would make me leave her at Grandma's house. Really? The deal is you are supposed to stay with me during the week and Grandma on the weekend but she wanted to try me and see how far she could get. SAD! Then I start to wonder is the medication starting to lose its affect or is she really just being a kid and trying to see what she can get away with? With my niece is harder to tell especially with the medication she is taking, I sit and wonder do I need to call the Doctor to have her up the dosage or just assume its a teenage thing? I don't have kids...never wanted them and it's moments like these when I remember WHY I don't have kids....Its like an Oprah 'Ah Ha' moment and say to myself 'oh yeah THIS is why I don't have kids'. To the parents who do have children that are well behaved, respectful and kind I SALUTE you cause I know it was easy getting them to this point. To the parents who have children and are struggling to raise them to be well behaved, respectful and kind PRAYERS for you cause you obviously need them! AND to those parents who had children and basically ignored them and they raised themselves, thus making you the parents of bullies and hellions...I say WHAT THE HELL!!! So what is life all about...what's it all about in general what are we all living for? Are we living just because we were one of the ones BLESSED to be given life or are we living in an effort to make a difference??? I hope we are trying to make a difference...but I have learned the hard way everybody is not like me. Its hump day people and time is flying by... what are you going to do with the time you have? See ya when I see ya! Peace! Mattie