What Is That Smell??????!!!!!!

HELLO PEOPLE!!! How the heck are you? I hope this writing finds you well and in good health! I was taking my sister and my niece to my mom's house so they could catch the bus, and I just tucked my night shirt into a pair of fleece sweat pants threw on some oversize Ugg boots and my coat! I didn't even stop to take the 'wave' cap off my head or wash my face and my mouth guard is still in so you know MORNING breath is killer about now! After the obligatory get in the car request that lasts about 5 minutes or 15 sayings, whichever comes first, they get in the car and we are off! I remember my mom telling me stories about going to the grocery store she would say, "I just ran around there to the store I tucked my nightgown into my pants and threw my coat on over it". As the story would go on at some point she would say that noticed people looking at her and they would stare for a minute then continue on, finally she would try to figure out what they were looking at and she would look down and see that her gown had made its way down below her pant leg and was hanging out...or her coat was up in the back cause she didn't tuck her gown in right so the coat got hung up on the BULGE in the back...the best one of all would be when she would say her wig was on crooked or backwards....and my all time favorite is when she would say the STRAP from the wig was hanging down and she didn't notice it, but then she felt something on her face! Aaaaaahhhh yeah that is about the time I would say YOU DIDN'T TELL ANYBODY YOU'RE MY MOM DID YOU????!!!!!! (Panic would have kicked up a notch by then, it had already started when she said "I went to the store...") She would laugh and say, "Naw I didn't see anybody I know, but nobody can laugh harder at me, than me so while them folks were pointing and laughing so was I." I would usually say DAMN! right about this time... This morning when I got to my mom's house I took the kids in and caught a glimpse of myself in the hall mirror. I reflected on the hard time I had given my mom about going out in public looking like that with the multicolors and backwards wig, etc., and I thought "I AM MY MOTHER!" Look at what I am wearing... after my niece gets on the bus and I chit chat a little with my mom and sit my sister down with her snack. I say okay I have to go get ready for work and I go back out to the car and get in, I take a deep 'cleansing' breath in to relax myself...then I realize that one of those little shits FARTED OR SHIT their pants on the way out of the car! With the windows being up because it is only 29 degrees the smell has had time to fester and get ANGRY! The car is running and the heat is on so now I am fighting for my life to find the window release...as a tear runs down my face and I attempt to find some form of FRESH air I think...sometimes I feel sad that I don't have children of my own, after I am gone there will be no one left with a little piece of my attitude, my outlook on life, my sense of humor...then as I notice the tint peeling off the window and the feeling of faintness coming over me from holding my breath, I remember aaaahhhhh yeah this is why I don't have children. FREAKIN' A MAN WHAT IS THAT SMELL???? What have they been eating and SERIOUSLY who farts on their way out of the car...why couldn't they wait until they were out and do that....DAMN! I hope you have a day filled with the smell of roses...trust me it has to be better than that stench in my car!!! See ya when I see ya! Peace! Mattie

Evaluation...Have You Evaluated Yourself....

Its HUMP DAY!!!! Guess what day it is??? Oh yeah I just told you ITS HUMP DAY!!!! Question. Have you ever done a self evaluation? Have you ever looked at yourself and thought back to your childhood and through your teen years, young adult into adulthood and evaluated yourself. Did you make the right choices at times or did you make mistakes? If you made a mistake did you learn from it? If you knew then what you know now how would you have done things differently? I sit and think about these things sometimes. I know that from childhood to now I have gone through some things that I wouldn't wish on anyone BUT I hope I learned... I have LOTS of things now that I didn't have back then, but I have come to the conclusion that THINGS don't make me happy. People don't make me happy. What makes me happy is being able to take care of my sister and my niece, being with my friends, Gary (on occasion when he is not annoying the hell out of me) AND my relationship with the Creator. I try not to get to caught up in the creations and forget who I believe created it. And let me say the I in that sentence is emphasized BOLD AND ITALICS and larger font if you please. I am not here to debate 'religion' or your belief versus my belief, I am just here to tell you that MY beliefs make me happy! Do yours? In the grand scheme of things we all want to be happy and if you are not happy with where you are, who you are and what is going on around you...do some self evaluation find out what the common thread or denominator is in each situation that you are unhappy about and then evaluate it. I did. I looked back over the jobs I have had in the past and I thought about them and what happened...mostly I (emphasis added) got pissed and I quit. I (emphasis added) didn't like the something and I walked away...BUT then I realized that I needed to look at me and stop looking over at Jane and finding fault with Jane, and try to figure out what is wrong with me! Its time to do some self inventory and find out what things you can change with yourself or about yourself that is keeping you from being HAPPY! Time is truly to short not to be happy and in the end most people who aren't happy, haven't really looked at themselves. Just some thoughts that crossed my mind as I was thinking about my niece and how far she has come, she got to the last three steps on the stairs today and turned around and walked down SLOWLY backwards!!!:D) AMAZING! You have no idea how awesome that is, we are talking about someone who has to sit and scoot down the first flight of stairs on her butt cause she is so afraid, but then gets to the bottom and walks down backward. Ain't that nice!!!! Evaluate yourself people, how you present yourself in the world affects the world around you. Make sure you are having a positive affect!!! LET'S GET IT!!! See ya when I see ya! Peace! Mattie

50 and FAB-U-LOUS

Hello People!!! How the heck are you on this Terrific TUESDAY!!!! I hope this writing finds you well and in good health!!:D) As I ascend into my FIFTIES I have noticed that even in these first 7 months there are somethings that have changed about me that I didn't think could. HOT FLASHES!!! They are a common thing BUT the only thing that gets hot on me is my head! can you imagine you head just heats up to 10,000 degrees for a 15 seconds then you are back to 'normal'. WHO DOES THAT?! I DO!!! Sweat pouring off every possible open pore on my forehead, face and neck.....UGH!!!!! BUT HEY I am 50 and I am FAB-U-LOUS!!! I can't see small writing anymore I have these 'progressive' glasses that have "Bifocals" in them 'only a slight magnitude' so I am not blind yet! BUT I can wear them and trip over thin air because depending on where I am looking through the glasses there might be a change in distance, which throws my perception off and I step when there is no step, don't step when I should and trip when the ground is flat. BUT HEY I am 50 and I FAB-U-LOUS!!! I noticed that my knees are starting to crack, crackle and POP when I stand up, and standing up takes a little more effort these days. UNLESS there is an insect involved and then I can do this hunchback of Notre Dame thing where I am running hunched over...kind of like Lurch! BUT my hair looks good and I am still in pretty good shape and let's not forgot most importantly I am 50 and I am FAB-U-LOUS!!!! You all know that I take care of my niece and my sister, my niece is doing EXTRAORDINARILY well these days so now I find myself thinking is her attitude age appropriate for 16 or do I need to discuss upping her medication. I heard her say this morning,as I was telling her for the umpteenth time to GET DRESSED and COME ON!!!, that I make her sick..."you make me sick." Now I am thinking is that just the attitude of a 16 year old early in the morning or do we need to up her medication cause there is no way I can make anyone sick...I am GREAT! I am ME! I am 50 and I am FAB-U-LOUS!!!!! Kids can really check your ego for you...TRUST ME!!! I have a few more months of being 50 then I will move on up to 51 then 52 and so on God willing and now I look forward to seeing what else is going to change...my attitude? NAH!!! My looks? NAH!!! ME??? NAH!!! I am 50 and I am FAB-U-LOUS will be my mantra from now until I am 80!!!! I hope you all find your mantra and happy place and don't let anyone or anything change you! Not even mother nature making you sweat and creek or kids checking your ego for you!!! It is another day above ground and the sun is shinning let's make it do what it do.... LET'S GET IT!!!! See ya when I see ya! Peace! Mattie