The Wild...Wild... West...

SO hello people! How are you doing? I hope this blog finds you well....Spring is in the air, unless you are up north in which case snow is in the air, but we need the moisture right? What has everybody been up to? Shaking off the winter and getting ready for summer I am sure. How many are on diets to lose the winter midsection that you got while being cooped up in the house and eating your weight in chocolate and cookies during the holidays???? Don't worry I am right there with ya....SAD!!!

So let me tell you this little story of an incident that happened to me over the weekend.

I live out in B.F.E. and my closest neighbor is a half mile to a mile away. We have signs posted no trespassing and we have been informed by the Sheriff that if we have any problems we should "take care of it" ourselves and he will deal with the aftermath when he gets here. NOW don't get it twisted the man did not say reenact Clint Eastwood's make my day scene, BUT he just let us know that in all likelihood if we don't take care of it by the time he gets here it could be an ugly situation. Now that I have set the stage here is the story:

SO last Saturday I get up and me and my sister come downstairs and I see out the window that a man is standing at our fence starring....Just standing there starring I don't know what he is looking at and I am like OH SHIT this is going to be some make my day kind of stuff! Gary was gone down to Cottonwood for a, yeah you guessed it, tractor show so it was just me and my sister. I take my sister into the living room and I tell her to stay there and be quiet. She does, for a while then she starts choking on some water so I have to rush in there and help her. Her eyes are all big and she is looking like what the hell just happened I was doing my normal thing where I take a mouth full of water and gargle with it and all of a sudden there is water going down the front of my shirt on the floor and I can't breathe! I calm her down and I go back to the window and look out...the man is still there, still looking and just weird! I call Gary and tell him that the man we saw driving around lost the day before is back and he is standing at the fence starring at the house. I try to use the binoculars but my eyes don't work with binoculars and I can't see shit in 3-D either, but that is another story. I say to GARY THAT MAN IN THE TRUCK IS BACK AND HE IS LOOKING AT THE HOUSE STANDING BY THE FENCE! Insert concerned voice that is almost high pitched and squealing. Gary says, "well what is he doing?" I said he is just standing at the fence looking at the house and I don't know how long he has been there the dogs are barking and when I came downstairs he was there. Gary says, "well he will 'probably' go away after awhile. So anyway I saw this tractor and it's only $1200.00 for it and I could use the tires off of it and maybe sell the rest for parts. Gary (our neighbor) has already bought some stuff. They also have these rollers that you put under those oil cans I have, you know what I talking about? I want those rollers but I don't want the oil cans, I wonder if the man will sell them to me without the cans, cause I don't want the cans...." WTH! GARY!!!! What are you talking about?! I just told you there is a MAN at the fence looking at the house and you are talking about tractors, oil cans and wheels....what the hell is wrong with you. Gary says, "well I don't know what to do 'why don't you go find out what he wants'..." Right! Like that is going to happen. I said you know what Gary I have to go I am going to call Copper to come over here and take care of this...Gary says, "well I told you he would probably leave after awhile...the cop is not going to come." Needless to say I hung up on Gary! SERIOUSLY! THERE IS A MAN AT THE FENCE AND YOU TALKING ABOUT TRACTORS! SERIOUSLY....SERIOUSLY!!

SO I call Copper and I say there is a man at my house standing out at the fence he was there when I came downstairs, I don't know who he is, I don't know how long he's been there and Gary is not here. The COP says, "I'll be right there!!!!" BOOM! Appropriate response, no tractor talk, no mention of oil cans and rollers, just I'll be right there! Gary calls back and I tell him that I called Copper and he is coming and the guys is STILL THERE! He says well then the cop will take care of it...and he starts talking about the stuff at the tractor show again...I said WHAT IS TAKING COPPER SO LONG! He lives around the corner (granted it is a mile around the corner but still....)Gary says it always seems longer when you are waiting...I look at the phone and I say why are you calling me? He says I was just checking to see if the guy was still there. YES he is still there and he is going to back to his truck to get something.... I can't see what he has he is holding up something. WHERE IS THE COP! I hang up the phone again cause I am about to call Copper again and the guy walks over to the gate does something at the gate, WTH! Oh shit now I have to get the gun. Then he walks back to the fence looks one last time and starts to get in his truck. WHERE IS THE COP!!!! The guy starts to drive away and as he does the cop drives up...they eye each other and the cop pulls in the drive gets out opens the gate. The man drives on. I run outside and I ask the cop WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG! Copper says, "I got his license plate number, do you know that guy?" I say no I don't, then he hands me a note that the guy had stuck to the fence.

I open the note and look at it. I look at the cop and say it is somebody looking for Gary, he says okay. Then he says does the sheriff come out here at all and I told him NO! The sheriff told Gary that if something happened to take care of it ourselves and he would deal with it when he got here. See we live in the county so technically the cop has no jurisdiction out here since he is a "City" cop and this is not the city it is the Wild... Wild... West! As the cop leaves I go back into the house and I catch my breathe and read the note, which reads as follows:

"03-20-10 Good morning Gary, I was given your name by Tim Baker that you deal w/8N tractors and I am needing a carb. for mine. My name is Pablo and my # is --------. Please give me a call if you parts for an 8N 1948-52 Carb Part #8N9510C. Thank you." Are you freakin' kidding me!!!! I am trying to psyche myself into shooting you if I have to and you want tractor parts.....

I knew those freakin' tractors were going to be trouble as soon as Gary started collecting them. The irony here....Gary only collects tractors he doesn't sell them or sell the parts! Go figure! He has six that is right 6 tractors. HELP ME!

See ya when I see ya!

Peace! Mattie